Heather and Chase’s son was born today ! I almost laughed my butt off because Amanda (my other best friend; we are a group of 3) was hoping so much the little guy would be a Saggitarius like she is, and I joked that he would literally wait until the first day of Capricorn to be born… And that’s exactly what happened !
I rarely get excited for babies, for personal reasons. But Heather and Chase tried for 3 years to conceive and then had to wipe out their savings for IVF (which I just found out, there is no IVF tax credit unless you make like $150k a year; which is UNFAIR because people who make that much could probably afford IVF out of pocket). They’ve been together since 2004 and married since 2009… Unlike Farrell or Crystal from 7FAM or a couple girls from Sephora, this baby was super planned. I hate to be that person and I don’t want to judge others, especially because anything can happen to anyone, but she is practically the first friend I have (with the exception of a couple people, including an ex-boyfriend, but I don’t really talk to any of them) who had a baby on purpose, in a marriage, who own a home suitable for raising a kid. I guess I am sort of old-fashioned but maybe since that is how I was raised (although my dad was military so my parents didn’t own a home until 1994), I am more apt to be excited for a planned baby.
I don’t even know if I was so excited for my first niece. I mean, I was, but part of me felt that my family was still not getting along very well with my SIL so we assumed we wouldn’t be part of Julie’s life that much. That’s not entirely the case as it’s panned out, but I do already feel more warm fuzzies for Elliot than my two nieces.
Plus his name is the same as the kid from E.T. I told Heather the first thing I’m doing is getting him an old Playskool phone so he can phone home.
But yeah… It is always hard for me to not be jealous of people when they have kids, especially when it’s… not planned. Like I said, it’s less of a judgment thing and more of a jealousy thing since I have basically been told I will have an extremely difficult time becoming pregnant, and a next to impossible chance of carrying a child to term without complications.
I know a lot of people can’t be bothered with kids or don’t want kids… And some days I wonder if we may be happier just having dogs and cats. But the reason it upsets me so much is that the option isn’t even available to me. Someday I want to talk to Heather a little about this (even though the issue with them was Chase and not her) because she may have some words of wisdom about the situation. It’s just a lot of things… I’m 28 and Cori is 30 and he will only have (hopefully) a salaried job in the middle of the year. I’ve never had a stable job. His job field won’t pay that much and it will limit where we can move. I miss my family so much. I miss my mom, my puppy, even my dad !
I try to be optimistic but I get so jealous so easily now that I find it’s better if I just don’t expose myself to things that will make me sad.
However, I’m so happy for Heather and Chase and I can’t wait to meet this little bobblehead of theirs :)
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