Looking up in Journal

Feeling a lot more positive today! Yesterday and the day before I was feeling pretty rubbish because I hadn’t been sleeping very well but last night I got a full 8 hours and I feel SO much better. I did have some really weird dreams though, including one about Harry Potter where Voldemort was an evil version of Ronald McDonald… thanks for that brain!
I was supposed to be going to a course on ‘Communicating with Confidence’ straight from work yesterday as part of the ‘Steps to Wellbeing’ programme I got referred to by my doctor. The course started at 6 and I finished work at 5, I thought that an hour would be long enough to leave for what my phone told me would be a 24 minute journey, but it was not! There are road works on one of the major roads in our area at the moment and it seems to be affecting everywhere else! I felt really guilty about missing it but I called them today and they’re going to book me on to the next available one, and actually I think it might have been for the best because I felt so tired and miserable yesterday and it meant I was able to go home and have a soak in the bath and then tidy up the flat a bit, I’m just a bit annoyed about wasting petrol sitting in traffic for an hour, and the radio in my car is broken so I was pretty bored! I’ve already done one on ‘Positive Thinking’ at the beginning of August which was quite interesting. It was kind of CBT based and was all about identifying and challenging negative thoughts. I think the think that’s really helped me feel better is being so busy! I don’t really have time to dwell on stuff and get down. I thinks it also really helps that I don’t have this massive secret that I’m ashamed off any more. I am still ashamed but it’s a relief to not have to live in fear of anyone finding out and I feel better now that I’m actually taking action to put things right. But although I can’t spend money on clothes anymore I am still comfort eating which isn’t ideal. I also think I do need more confidence in communicating with people, especially at work so hopefully that course will help when I do eventually get to do it!
Some good things: I left my hair to dry naturally last night and it doesn’t actually look too bed today and I like what I’m wearing. I get to see Paul tonight, he’s got a M&S 2 dine in for £10 for us and then he’s taking me to the cinema to watch American Ultra. Paul is growing out his beard for the winter which I am really excited about! And I just found out that I’m going to get to go to Amy’s birthday meal next Friday, she was going to doing something in Portsmouth which I wouldn’t have been able to go to because I’m on a late shift on Friday and wouldn’t have been able to get there in time. But now the place where they were going to go is closed for refurbishment so they are going to Koh Thai which I love and which is a 5 minute walk from my flat and they’ve booked the table for after I finish so I’m really glad I get to go! Now I just need to make sure I make enough money in tips this weekend to pay for my meal! I’m working at 8 the next morning though which is a bit annoying, but I think I just have to accept that this is my life at the moment (working all of the days!) and try and fit some fun stuff in in-between!
I hope you guys have a lovely weekend!