As our relationship grew more serious, we started playing around a little more in the bedroom and quickly realized that I was the submissive partner. On the other hand, she considered herself a switch, able to be either dominant or submissive. I didn’t think much of that, but that soon seemed to be developing into a problem because she wanted to be able to be submissive from time to time, but I found that I wasn’t really capable of being dominant.
She was genuinely unhappy and dissatisfied about this, and I felt bad that I couldn’t offer her something sexually that she seemed to need.
It was right at this time when I was feeling sexually inadequate that a friend of hers invited her to a play party. “Play party” is the euphemistic term used for a party where people who are into kinky lifestyles get together and socialize and do kinky things. We weren’t very kinky people at the time, but my wife wanted to get to know more about that lifestyle and was very interested in attending the party. I technically was invited too, but didn’t really think I would be comfortable. She made it clear that she would only be going to socialize and watch and get ideas.
These parties took place about every two weeks, and once she went to the first one she got on the invite list and soon was going to them on a regular basis. She would come home and tell me about watching someone get spanked or some other kinky thing, and it seemed interesting and I was happy she was having a good time.
After several parties came and went, she told me one day about a dominant guy in the group that was having a birthday and who wanted to celebrate by playing with someone new. She wanted to know how I would feel about her volunteering to be that person. She assured me that it wasn’t going to be about sex (sex was technically against the rules at these parties anyway) but just about doing a scene together with ropes.
I agreed. I could tell how much she wanted to do it. And as the day of the party approached, I was really looking forward to hearing about her experience being submissive to this other guy. Surprisingly, we didn’t talk about any other details other than that they wouldn’t have sex.
When she came home after the party I couldn’t wait to hear the details. Then I was shocked when she told me the first thing that happened between her and the other guy was that they made out on a couch for nearly 30 minutes. She said it was just their way of getting familiar with each other before playing. I hadn’t anticipated anything as intimate as kissing, for some reason.
Part of me wanted to be angry or jealous, but thinking about her at this party making out with another man really excited me. Then she told me that they went into a more private room and he helped her undress. Again I was a little shocked because I hadn’t imagined she would be getting naked. But I had the same reaction of excitement knowing she had taken her clothes off with another man.
She told me all about what she did with him after that, being tied up and spanked, and it was interesting to know how much she enjoyed being submissive with someone else.
After this, when she would go to the parties she would sometimes play with other people. They were all similar experiences, things that were definitely sexual but were not actually sex. I enjoyed hearing about her experiences.
Since she had become a regular person at these parties, it lead to her being invited to other events in the kinky community. And soon she was going to munches and meeting other people.
She made friends with one guy in particular who didn’t live far from us. The two of them would occasionally meet up for drinks and to talk about their shared interest in kinky things. I was aware of course that she was essentially going on dates with this guy, but the lines of what I found acceptable with her and her kinky friends were constantly changing.
One night when she was out with him and it was getting late, I texted her to ask when she thought she’d be home. She responded that it’d be soon, they were just sitting in his car talking. Then she texted, “I’m really aroused right now.” I wrote back, “Is he aroused too?” and she confirmed that he was.
I typed the message “You should help him take care of that” and then stared at it on my phone, wondering if I should really hit send. While I was thinking about it, a message from her came through that said, “How would you feel if I gave him a handjob?”
I responded perhaps too quickly telling her she should do it. The lines had changed again.
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