Sephora cancelled my shift today.
This is what I mean. I love working there, but it’s so damn unpredictable. I had a 5 hour shift, with an extra two hours on call, and I didn’t even get the base hours.
Retail is so shitty. I’m never going to make more than $12,000 a year. Hell, I think I’ll be lucky to make half that this year. And I don’t know what else to do. It’s been over 3 1/2 years since I was in college, and a little over 3 since I officially graduated. I haven’t written a paper since November 2011. I barely understand Word anymore. I don’t remember hardly any French, nor do I remember much from my government classes. I’m having a harder time getting words out from my head to my mouth, and I haven’t even updated my resume for about 9 months.
I had such a bad time trying to find a non-retail job in DC that it just burnt me out. It wasn’t difficult for me to find a retail job, ever, so I suppose that’s a plus. And I’m still employed, such as it is. But I don’t even know if I can handle a more steady job after 10 years of what I would consider chaos. And in college, as I’ve said many times before, I never really seriously gave thought to what I was actually going to do afterwards.
I don’t even know what’s here in Cincinnati and I’m having a hard time being motivated. I don’t sleep well and as always, for like the 4th time in my life, I have gained back nearly all the weight I lost. Yep. Went from about 157 to 190 in less than 2 years. And now I don’t have a treadmill or a dog to motivate me. I have to pay to use gym equipment, and I just don’t have the money. I don’t know how I would go about being a dog walker. The only dog walking jobs I’ve seen require open availability from 9am-8pm every day which basically means I can’t also work at Sephora unless they strictly want to keep me as a person entirely on call.
I just don’t know what my next step should be.
~Rachel
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