It is 2 1/2 months since I quit my job. I am still going through the emotional roller coaster of all of this. I have an appointment today with a sexual harassment counselor. Not sure what it is going to be all about, but I feel like it is really hard for people to understand what I am going through internally when they haven’t been through it.
One thing I was thinking about last night was the counselor I was going to. She was/is such a sweet lady and has helped me in so many ways. But I know on numerous occasions I brought up the agreements that me and H were working on and I know I also brought up how he kept throwing in my face if you marry me..........
I am wondering why she never asked me any questions about this. I wonder why she never discussed sexual harassment. I know the one time she said to me when I was on the verge of quitting because he kept changing things that I should just talk to him about our agreement. I did talk to him and I actually think this is the time we went to see an attorney about them. But of course that fell through. But that is not my point here. My point is why didn’t she ever question me about all of his marriage proposals? I know I said to her many times we were working on agreements and he was always saying if you marry me you can have 1/2 the company. I know I said to her that I didn’t see him that way and it actually turned my stomach. Maybe she knew emotional I was not ready to deal with it all. I always looked at her desk when I talked about him. He was always sitting on my desk when we went over things and it would bring that up in my mind. I always tried to see him as a father figure, it was easier for my mind to wrap around the entire situation. I guess if you are not trained in sexual harassment counseling you wouldn’t see it. I am not quit sure.
I am hoping this counselor that I am seeing today can help me make more sense of all of this. I am hoping she can get my head on straight from the aftermath of years of the same pattern going on and on and on.
I also had a call from a legal adviser and I have to call her back. It is my understanding that they are their for you to help you through this entire process and let you know what is going on. They do not take the place of an attorney, but I guess they act as legal support having the knowledge of how these things work and what to expect from the other side.
I am trying to keep myself balanced and grounded through all of this. Every once in a while I have to take a deep breathe and let it go. I have no control over the outcome of any of this. I have no control over what they are going to do. The only thing I can do is just let this entire process play itself out. But I do have to say this is one of the most stressful situations I have ever been in. I should be looking at this as black and white, but that is always so hard for my mind to do.
Loading comments...