Last week was gay pride in Boston, and Rachel asked me to go with her. Guy wasn’t going to go because it was Saturday morning after he had worked all Sunday night. I told her I really didn’t want to go, hoping she would drop it when I said that, but she didn’t.
So I told her the honest reason. I didn’t want to go to an event that was all about celebrating being gay and gay right when I’m not a big supporter of the lifestyle. I didn’t really want to have to come out and say that, but it’s also not like she didn’t already know that about me.
She responded that it didn’t matter if I supported the cause, it just mattered that I support her. Then she said this would be our last chance to go to it together since she wouldn’t be around next year.
What? I asked her where she was going. She seemed disappointed that she had said something, like she had let a secret slip out. Then she said she already had a job offer on the west coast and she was most likely going to accept it.
The last time she talked to me about moving away, I cried uncontrollably and then felt bad and apologized for that reaction. So what did I do this time? I cried uncontrollably. Tears and sobbing and “You can’t leave me” and “What am I going to do without you?”
She hugged me and told me it wasn’t as big of a deal as I was making it out to be.
My sister is my best friend. I didn’t always feel that way, but I do now that we are both adults. I spend more time with her than I spend with my husband. I really have a hard time imagining my life without her.
Then she said that maybe we should move out there with her and her husband. I admit the thought had never crossed my mind. I see myself as an east coast girl. But maybe. What is keeping me in Boston? The biggest thing keeping me here is that it’s where Rachel lives.
So I went to the pride parade with her. I basically want to spend as much time with her as I can before she leaves. After about an hour at the parade I told her I was really uncomfortable. She responded that she was really proud of me for coming and putting aside my objections to homosexuality in order to support her. We left and had lunch together in Chinatown.
Sitting at the restaurant, I asked her if it really didn’t bother her that I think it’s a sin to be gay. She said, “Nope. I’m really happy you believe in something. That’s what matters.”
I said, “I feel super guilty about it. I love you and yet I think your lifestyle is wrong.”
She asked if I see her as a woman and I said yes, 100 per cent.
She smiled and said, “I love you too. Just be yourself and believe what you believe.”
I’m going to miss her so much.
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