The weekend:
Another weekend at Devon with family. Even my brother showed up. Weather was nice, food was good. I took a laptop to do some work, and never turned it on.
Monday:
I think I’m back to normal now after my visit to South East Asia. It does rather feel like I haven’t stopped since I got back. My clock feels normal again however, and I have stopped waking up in the middle of the night.
Tuesday:
This afternoon I am working from home because the dragon has a meeting and I need to pick up the boy. I’m also having the windscreen replaced. I am actually covered for windscreen replacement on my insurance, but astonishingly they expected me to wait three weeks. I know, three weeks to have a windscreen replaced! What are you supposed to do if it’s completely smashed and the car is not drivable? Anyway, I’ve found my own replacement service and apparently the insurance company will still pay up.
Wednesday:
The general election is starting to bother me. I thought the Labour party was going to go down in flames. They have no intellect in their ranks, the leader is a
buffoon, and the shadow chancellor is a one-trick-pony with no ideas of his own. However, they seem to be neck and neck with the conservatives in the polls. An awful lot seems suddenly to rest upon the SNP result. That said, Labour appears to have ruled out a coalition with them, and lets face it, the SNP are never going to work with the Tories. So, is it just me, or does that mean that no one can possibly get a majority, and no one is prepared to form a coalition unless the Tories and the Lib Dems do so again? The Lib Dems are polling so badly I don’t know that they would be able to form a majority coalition with the Tories anyway.
Thursday:
Today I went for a semen assessment. I was in two minds as to whether I would write about this. It’s slightly embarrassing. I have done it before, but last time it was a case of taking a pot to the lab and simply handing it over. This time they wanted a fresh sample. I don’t usually get embarrassed about anything much, and I had my fear glands replaced with metal ones when I was a child. However, I did feel something close to embarrassed as I turned up for my appointment. They do everything they can to make it not embarrassing, but it’s not completely successful.
It occurred to me as I sat down in the waiting room in the fertility clinic, that I was the only single male there. It then occurred to me that all the couples also noticed this and therefore must know what I was there for. I don’t know why I didn’t think about that before. I was thinking, or maybe hoping, that a glamorous nurse would explain the process to me. I mean that would help most blokes wouldn’t it? But no, my name was called by a male nurse with an odd hairnet. He led me to a room, gave me a pot, told me to put my sample in a cupboard, ring the bell, and then I could leave. He also told me to make sure the door was locked. I’d worked that out for myself actually. It all seemed very simple.
The room was small. It had a wipe-clean couch, a wash basin, tissues, baby wipes, lubricating gel, some rude magazines. and latex gloves bizarrely. I sort of wish I’d stolen some lubricating gel now. And really, I should have taken pictures shouldn’t I. Anyway, I had a look at the rude magazines to get my mind in the right place. I wonder if they’d have given me a rude nurse if I’d said I couldn’t do it? Turns out I could do it anyway. I filled my pot with tadpoles, not right up to the top, but a respectable amount I think. Then I filled in my paperwork, put everything in the cupboard, and rang the bell. I don’t know what I expected, but there were suddenly noises and I realised that someone was opening the cupboard from the other side to take my tadpoles away. I suppose it saves blushes.
And then I left. The only way out is through the waiting room again. You don’t have to speak to anyone, but you do have to walk past a crowd of people; the same people who guessed why you were there 15 minutes previously. I wondered vaguely what the reaction would be if I waved to them, or walked by zipping my fly up. I whimped out and walked by without making eye contact. So, I am now awaiting results.
Friday:
Apparently we have a mouse in our house. It was seen last night by the dragon. I don’t know why they always seem to show themselves to her, she’s terrified of them. I will set a trap tonight.
Loading comments...