I started this diary here initially to write about my gender identity, but have since really branched out to write about polyamory and my relationships instead. I feel like I haven’t even mentioned my gender in a long time. My husband even struggled with his own gender identity and it was interesting to see another person going through the same dilemmas that I was. I had an important development this week and figure it’s time for an update.
After filing some paperwork on my own and really struggling with it, I eventually hired a lawyer to file and request a court order to officially change my gender to male. I didn’t think it would be nearly as drawn-out or difficult as it ended up being. I’m certainly not the first trans person to go through this and it’s unfortunate that they don’t make the process easier. But I’m happy to say I appeared in court this week in front of a judge, answered a few simple questions, and was giving his authority in writing to identify as male. From there I went to the DMV and applied for a new drivers license which identifies me as male. That part went surprisingly smoothly once I showed them the court documents.
I am 100% certain of my identity these days. I know I am male, and technically having an official document doesn’t change anything. But there is something nice about knowing that the government now sees me as male.
My husband is also now sure that he identifies as male, which is the gender he was born into and has almost always accepted. Although I supported him completely when he was identifying as female, I’m happy he has made the decision and is comfortable with it. He now calls himself bisexual, even though he says he strongly prefers male partners. I’m pretty sure he only calls himself bi to explain his sexual relationship with Liz.
He has had to struggle with the fact that he identifies as male even though he cross dresses. I realize that there is nothing terribly unusual about being male and wanting to wear women’s clothes, but I think sometimes there is still a little confusion for him. He’s not a drag queen, cross dressing is not an occasional thing for him, but rather it’s his normal way of life. He wears women’s clothes all day everyday.
And just to be clear, Liz is a heterosexual cis gender woman. And I know that also has a grey area since she and I are are lovers and I don’t have a penis. She’s not comfortable even acknowledging my vagina in a sexual way, which may seem weird except for the fact that I also am not comfortable acknowledging my vagina sexually. I wish I didn’t have it.
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