So Hard in Coping

This is the first time writing here. Elton has been gone for almost five months now. It hasn't gotten any easier. Sure, there are days when I laugh and have some good times, but then the sadness comes right after. I miss him so very much. Not a day goes by where the lack of his presence isn't felt. His voice, his touch, his laughter, his smile. Just knowing that he isn't there in the other room is so hard. I miss his eyes looking into mine, the sparkle of them smiling at something funny I had said. I miss hearing him next to me when I'm in bed at night, the sound of his even breaths, in and out as he lay there sleeping. I miss his funny little laugh as he recalled stories from his childhood, the crazy things he and his friends had done on dares that only young boys can dream up. So many things that one takes for granted when their spouse is there, day in and day out. We had twenty eight years together, some of them were very hard and some of them were wonderful, but I wouldn't trade one of them. We learned from the tough ones and grew closer because of them. We cherished every day we had together. And even though we did that it wasn't enough. I wanted more. I WANT more. I know life isn't fair, but his was taken way too early. Diabetes is a cruel disease and 58 is way too young to die.