What would that mean, if I emailed my classmates when the reason for my breakdown was that nobody cares about my success?
It means that all success relates to the success of others as well your own. It isn't about your success or their success. It is about group success. When you fail, others are burdened. When you succeed, weight is lifted. And inevitably, the opposite happens too, but...
It's important to find a way out of my extreme feelings toward this idea to feel content. An instructive father would teach you that you succeed and he succeeds, through reward. A fearful father would teach you that your success means little to other men.
I can rationalize this, but I need to feel this through therapy and build some confidence.
1) I can move into the homeless shelter and continue therapy without the stress of others' bad living habits. (People clean up after them.) 2) I can move into a double-room place near the school and continue the way I am now, which puts me in danger of sharing another person's habits. 3) I can continue to look for a one-room place.
If I go to the homeless shelter, they can teach me how to get out on my own. That's super important.
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