When I arrived at Fort Erie before crossing the Peace Bridge to the States, I decided to actually turn into the Duty Free Shop and get some food. My mother and daughter haven’t ever tried a Canadian Burger (personally better than US ones in my opinion) so I bought some and snagged a happy meal for myself because. Small Fries and 4 piece nuggets. Of course, you have to walk your happy ass through all the merchandise to get to the food counter and it’s conveniently located right next to the booze. Clever, clever people.
I snag my food, then strut back through the shop and this is now going on 10PM because let’s face it. An extra hour snuggling in bed with him was better than leaving early and missing out.
I end up getting 3G signal for a few minutes just outside the building and he has text. “I love you so much.” I had been gone from his place for 10 minutes before he wrote it.
I get to the bridge and there is no traffic. None. I pull right up to bay 7 and the guy takes my passport. He doesn’t even glance at it for more than 2 seconds and I’m just chattering away about meeting his family and possibly being accepted by some of his clan! The guy just smiles and goes, “That’s great, I’m happy for you. Hey listen, you have a good drive, OK?” Hands it back and I’m on my way.
Total time at the Bridge? 1 1/2 minutes MAX.
Hit a nasty ass snow storm on the way home. Me being partially night blind + snow flying at your windshield like you’re going Ludicrous Speed without Going Plaid + Inability to use high beams as a result + Potholes that will swallow the Titanic Whole = FUCK that shit. Still made it home within 3.5 hours of leaving.
Rewind.
In the car before I drove away (where he now stands outside until I leave, because he doesn’t want to draw out this totally heart wrenching scene anymore because it’s too hard..) he asked me when I’d be back. I told him I didn’t know, as soon as I could. I mean it. I need to get back home.
He touched my cheek, wiping my tears and goes, “Don’t cry just drive.” I told him I’d be OK once I left. Which was semi accurate. I got to the gas station and got like 13 litres, took off. Got about 1 hour onto the trek and somewhere along the QEW I ended up just randomly bawling my fucking eyes out and screaming at myself, “I Just want to go back!”
Got home. Curled up with the pink blanket he made me take home because it reminded him of how sick he was instead of me (he used it to curl up with but he said it outweighs me now and just reminds him of bad illness) and it smelled just like him.
Which is why it is now 1230am and I’ve got to be up uber early and am not in bed yet. As soon as I hit that bed, I’m going to start crying again because when I wake up, I reach for him.
…and he reaches for me.
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