I work second shift. I have worked second shift for YEARS. As a result, whenever I have a doctors appointment, I have to schedule it for early in the morning if I want time to get anything done the rest of the day before work. -_-;; Pregnancy carries with it looooots of doctors appointments.
I got the call from my OB yesterday that they scheduled my first trimester screening at Baystate on March 16th. They scheduled me for 2:15 after I explicitly said I CANNOT DO an afternoon appointment because I leave for work at 2. So I had to call Baystate this morning to see if there was any way they had a morning appointment available because I really can’t afford to be late to a job that I just started. So of course, they schedule me for the same day (which is my dad’s birthday, actually) for 8am.
Unnnnnnnggggggggh. Baystate is a few towns over from me which means I’ll have to be up super early to get there and years of second shift have not conditioned me to be a morning person. However, if I expect this baby to work with my schedule, I’m sure I’ve got another thing coming. I’m just glad I got the scheduling taken care of because the first trimester screening is a time sensitive appointment and I needed to get it done. I’ll be just over 12 weeks by then and it has to be done before I’m 14 weeks. I’m 11 weeks today!! Baby is the size of a Fig. I’ve never even seen a fig in person before. Let’s hurry up and get to next week. Next week it’ll be the size of a lime and a comparison I’m actually familiar with.
I’m finally sleeping better. When I get home from work I have something to eat, go through my evening hygiene routine, curl up in bed and I’m OUT. It’s so nice to sleep the whole night through and wake up feeling well rested. I’m still really tired by about 8pm every night, but it’s not like the debilitating exhaustion I was experiencing before. The crazy dreams seem to have subsided for now as well. I definitely still feel pregnant though, and after seeing the baby earlier this week, a lot of my anxiety has gone down. We’ll get to see the little bean again at the screening, too, and I think sometime after that we’re going to publicly announce it. I’ll probably wait until I hit 13-14 weeks, but I can’t believe that by the end of this month I’ll be in my second trimester.
It’s also crazy to think that if my last pregnancy had stuck, we’d be having a baby this month. The due date was March 29, my grandmothers birthday. It’s still, and will always be, sad to think about, but what resonates with me about it now is how quickly that time went by. It was like a flash. That’s why I’m trying to be so proactive about keeping both a typed and a written journal about this pregnancy. I want to be able to look back and remember every moment of it, miserable or no. I want my little bean to know just how much I think/thought of her (I think it’s a girl) every single day.
I made a spell jar for the baby we lost back in September. Once the frost is gone, I’m going to start a little garden in the back yard and burry the jar deep in the middle of it. Life and Death. Death and Rebirth. It’ll be a beautiful way to remember my little darling.
Well, that’s all for now I suppose. I’ve got an hour before I have to start getting ready for work. Take care, kids! <3

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