Scribblings in Hello.

Have you ever noticed how people will constantly judge you, whether you’ve spoken to them or not? I like people watching, it can be interesting. But I’ve done experiments. We all have days when we feel great, walk tall, smile, are confident. Similarly we have days when we feel a bit shit, your hair is horrible, someone says something and it’s dragged your mood down, you stood in a turd. Watch how people will react to you depending on your mood. When you feel good, people will acknowledge you. They’ll smile, nod, apologise for walking past you (a great British hobby!), step to one side and let you past. When you’re feeling down, the opposite happens. People will step into your path and make you walk round them, they’ll avert eye contact, they’ll notice where you want to stand and stand there themselves. It’s obviously a subconscious hierarchy thing that we do automatically. It’s really bizarre. Next time you’re out and about, watch other people carefully.
Yesterday, after school, I took Eleanor into a shop. A lady followed me in directly and Eleanor was behind her, so I held the door open. The lady sailed past me without a word, nod, anything. I said “you’re welcome!” And she just blanked me. Eleanor was horrified. “That lady doesn’t have any manners, mum!” She said very loudly. As we walked past her in the shop I said “I know, manners are very important, Eleanor, which is why I’ve taught you manners since you were very small.” It really upset Eleanor, she’s mentioned it half a dozen times since. It’s obviously hard to process that some grown ups lack basic manners. Ah well, I’ll carry on doing what I’m doing.
I noticed that my girls are good at taking compliments. And I’ve also noticed that Bel will ask me to tell her truthfully what I think of her hair/clothes/thing she’s making and takes it really well when I say “it’s ok, but it would look better if you…” I hated that, it also took me a lot of years to take a compliment. I’d go “ooh thanks, but…” I try to restrain myself now and just say “Thank you!”
I love manners. It’s a very attractive feature in a person. Even now Eleanor will say “you’re welcome!” if someone thanks her for something. Very matter of fact, no song and dance. It’s not a big deal. She’s such a sensitive little thing, she’s very aware of how other people think. She watched a bit of Edward Scissorhands the other night (it was past her bedtime) and she started to cry when Edward got locked in the house, then his subsequent treatment. “It’s not fair! He doesn’t know what he’s doing is wrong! He’s scared!”
Bel is going through a stage of testing boundaries. sigh My gorgeous, confident, clever, popular girl is being a shit. I hope it doesn’t last long. Sunday she was over an hour late home from going out with her friends, so I told her she was grounded for two weeks. Yesterday it took her an hour and a half to walk home from school, so I told her she’s not getting her ears pierced during the Easter holidays any more. I remembered that the ear piercing was the incentive to get their bedroom done, so I’ve also confiscated her phone and her laptop until it’s done. Last night she sat drawing instead. “MABEL! I’ll dance with you!” “But you’ll just drop me and leave me like everyone else…“ “MABS! I won’t I swear!” “C’ya later, Dip. Enjoy the party.” “but I love you....”
Tonight after school she has hockey and then choir. A busy bee.
Next weekend Rob is going to Ormskirk with some friends for the uni open day. I’ve been told I can’t go. shrug He’s got to make his own way eventually I suppose. They’re planning on staying over and going clubbing in Liverpool. I don’t want to be part of that!