I started this yesterday and at that moment I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to write about, I just wrote down whatever came to my mind..
Laying on my back
staring at the ceiling
My vision blurs, as I gaze upon the wall.
I carefully open my eyes up wide,
Can you hear me screaming inside?
Where do I belong?
Why do I sing this song?
I blink my heavy eyelids down
then flick them back to look at you
My eyes find yours,
I search for your soul
My body tingles when I see you staring back at me
Endless oceans in your eyes
gazing down upon my soul
I think I just might drown
But tonight, I seem to feel differently, at least at first because I keep writing about awkward things, like being queasy. I keep deleting what I have written because, Hello? I’m trying to write a poem for valentines day for I guy I like so, no i don’t want to tell him he makes me feel sick.
The phone rings late at night
I know it’s you calling me
I know it’s you again
I rub my eyes and clear my throat
I hear you voice inside my head
Telling me the things you want to do to me.
I revise my thoughts and think of better things and all of a sudden the words are there and there is a picture painted. I think that this is a good first draft so, I might just keep it… whatever I was trying to say finally decided to come out and show itself to me. However, he still makes me feel uncomfortable sometimes. And if he wants to be my Dom, he has got to figure out how to make that discomfort go away. Maybe I will tell him. Maybe he can learn. I don’t know. I haven’t known him that long. But I hope and pray that this is the right thing I am doing. Letting my self trust someone I barely know. I hope I don’t get hurt. I hope this is okay.. because I feel like,
I’m drowning…
My head is slowly sinking
beneath the breaking waves
Arms extended outwards
Surface, just feet away.
Yet, i’m drifting downward
Running out of air.
My chest is getting tighter.
Until I see you there.
Your hand reaches for me
Grasping tightly to my wrist
Pulling me towards you
From the dark abyss
My breath releases from me
Bubbles escape my lips
As I’m dragged through the water
I surface with a splash
My lungs burn with the effort
of sucking in the air
wondering what i’d do
If you weren’t there.
I wander through the darkness
From the space inside my head
Across the distance between us
To find you, resting on your bed
With your arms around me
Holding me so tight
Lets just sleep forever
I’m turning out the light..
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