It is a known fact that people generally just don’t talk to me, I don’t get why. However, I suppose it has to do with my outspoken nature or the fact I just don’t always know how to gracefully deal with dramatic situations or anything. I’ll admit, I’m difficult at times despite being very quiet but back in the day I used to have tonnes or people I talked to - now I’m wondering what in the blue hell happened?
I suppose I find it ironic that rampant perverts and general bad people can make friends while I just try to be a good person and that blows up in my face. Its true, playing things straight really makes life difficult - even if I’ve been down the route of smoking, drinking, and smoking enough weed to knock out a rhino. I had my time with those things and they just aren’t for me - it doesn’t do anything and I just get depressed and feel useless afterwards. I can’t see why anyone would want to actively lead lives around substance abuse because not only is is pointless, its ultimately boring and pathetic. That just isn’t me.
Granted, I can also see why people don’t understand why people collect stuff - we all die in the end and all this material crap means nothing. But, I think that is just it. Nothing really means anything unless you make it mean something - I like what I do and I further my mind despite the fact that one day it will leave this world completely. Will I be remembered or leave something great? That all depends on what I do and to do something great I feel we all need to be surrounded by the things we like and what inspires us.
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