For the first time in weeks, I woke up before my alarm went off.
I have the alarm set for 9. It usually takes me about an hour to unwind after getting home from work, which is typically between 11:30 and 11:45, so I try to be in bed by 1am. Setting the alarm for 9 gives me the 8 hours I need to function, but in the past I would be drinking wine until 1:30-2 and would sleep in until 11 or later. But not last night. And not this morning.
Last night when I got home from work, I decided to cook. I made Paleo Nachos (which were absolutely delicious) and I had a cup of tea with milk and honey. I crawled into bed around 12:45 and read a book on the Paleo lifestyle and chatted with my husband about the argument we had earlier in the day. I realized a few things about myself and how I handle situations in my life.
It is very hard for me to relax. Like, at all. I tend to catastrophize situations in my head that constantly keep me on edge or spooked. Because that is how I’ve always “managed” my stress, I’m a ball of it. Stress. All the time. Which is why when Tim and I argue, I tend to lash out and defend my point until I’m blue in the face even if I know I’m wrong. I’m defending what’s mine. For no. Reason.
I also discovered that I desperately need to disconnect. I absentmindedly reach for my phone at LEAST 10 times an hour, if not more. Whether for Instagram, Email, Facebook, or some other social media, I can’t seem to be able to disconnect, and that is where a lot of my stress comes from. However, yesterday I made a few conscious decisions about how I was going to run my day:
I only pulled my phone out on break at work, and it was just for a second because I brought a book to read instead.
I stood almost the entire shift, and therefore looked for things to do so I wasn’t bored.
I refused to allow my brain to focus on what was going on in the social world without me.
By doing those three things, I discovered the following:
The world didn’t end.
I was content with knowing that my two best friends were hanging out without me, and the world didn’t end.
I was forced to find things to do at work, which kept me active, which left me feeling ready for sleep (and hungry!) when I got home from work.
No one was angry with me for not being connected for a day.
The world didn’t end.
And you know what? I slept like a baby last night. All I had was my tea and some food before bed, instead of wine or NyQuil or some other artificial substance. I didn’t check my phone before falling asleep. And when I woke up, before my alarm, I felt rested and awake. I gently nudged my husband awake, got out of bed and washed my face, put on some gentle music, and spent the first part of my morning meditating while making coffee and breakfast.
It feels incredible to have this kind of natural energy. After reading Chris Kresser’s, 9 Steps to Perfect Health, I discovered that a lot of my illness and unhappiness was due not only to my poor diet, but to the amount of stress that I carry on a day to day basis. Yes, I am turning into one of those, “This Book Changed My Life” people, but honestly it did, and I am totally okay with it.
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