After taking a look at my entries from last year around this time, I am happy to say I am in a MUCH better place this year. Last year I was complaining (totally justifiable complaints) about still not living with Bradley and no end in sight, blah blah. And wanting to end things with him because I was tired of living this double life and paying for a house I couldn’t even live in..
Well fast forward a year and all that has changed. I was super anticipating Christmas this year. After four years of waiting I was finally going to have my family under one roof for Christmas. Last Christmas, Cassidy still wasn’t even allowed to stay the night, so we had to get up early and go there Christmas morning. How shitty is that?
But this year it was so much different. And I LOVED decorating our new house. It looked so beautiful inside and out, I hate to start taking it all down today :( . The kids both had a good Christmas. Cassidy said it was the best one ever. Not sure if Zion shared the same sentiments. He did end up spending Christmas and a whole week up in Atlanta with his family. He got well over enough stuff, and not just video games, which is def a good thing. And he came back with a good attitude. (when he came home from visiting with them at Thanksgiving he was moody/sad/quiet, which I can understand).
The break from him was very nice. That probably sounds bad, but it really was. He’d not a bad kid, he’s really not. But when he was gone, it was so easy, so non-stressful. Cassidy is so laid-back and independent. He’s the opposite. I’m constantly having to keep my eye on him or he will break/spill/ruin something. Did I mention he’s the same age as Cassidy? TEN! Hello!! You’re too old to be constantly making messes (that you don’t clean up). But besides the normal bickering, the kids have been fine and he hasn’t done anything major besides just “being a boy” (<– I really hate that excuse).
Anyways, to reflect on this year briefly it has been AWESOME. 2014 was really a great year for me for many reasons: First and for most, Bradley and I were finally able to get legally married and move in together. Those of you who have been following me for a while know that struggle and what a major feat it was to finally be able to be together. The transition to living together was actually easier than I had anticipated. Especially once we moved into our new house. Which is another reason this year was great. Moving into Bradley’s house was a good thing, but it never felt like “home”. I don’t know if it was because another girl had lived there with him for many years or if it was because it was in a not so great neighborhood or what. But as hard as I tried it just wasn’t home to me. At the very end of August we moved into our new house in a great neighborhood with a ginormous yard and I just love it. I finally feel like I’m “home” and feel like a family. And although it is annoying and was a VERY difficult transition, getting full custody of Bradley’s son Zion was a good thing too. I know it’s something that Bradley wanted so badly and it’s def something Zion needed.
Another great event was me starting the dietetics program this past summer. When I initially decided to go back to school and get another degree it seemed more like a pipe dream that wouldn’t ever really happen. Especially because I had to take a year worth of science pre-reqs before I could even apply and be accepted into the program. I’m glad I just didn’t say “f it, this is going to take too long and be too much work.” When I was contemplating going back to school two years ago I remember my little brother showing me this Dear Abby. Someone wrote in about being “too old” to go back to school and said it’d take four years to get their degree and Dear Abby replied with “How old will you be in four years if you don’t get your degree? You are going to be 40 anyway – with or without your degree.” I don’t generally take advice columnists too seriously, but this is the best advice anyone can get. Time is going to pass regardless so you might as well do something productive with it! So anyways, I am about halfway through the school part of becoming a Registered Dietician, then I’ll have to do a 10 month internship. This program has been a lot more arduous than I thought, but it has been SO worth it.
Which brings me to my next point, health. Admittedly I am NOT in good shape right now. I stayed pretty strong in terms of eating right for the first part of the holidays.. but somewhere halfway through December I just said “f it” and started eating everything in sight. And before that I had only been sporadically working out. The first half of the year I got in the best shape of my life. For the first time, I actually liked how I looked. But then school/work/family started consuming all my time and now I’m just making a bunch of excuses about why I quit working out on a regular basis. The only good thing is thanks to one of my classes in the first semester of my dietetics program, I learned how to cook. From scratch. I barely knew how to boil water before, so this was kinda major. Since that class, I’ve also learned soooo much about the biochemistry of food and our bodies and how we are literally what we eat. Because of this I’ve taken a much more natural approach to cooking and eating. Now I just to keep it consistent and keep the gym consistent because I seriously hate how I look and more importantly how I FEEL right now.
To sum it all up I am happy right now. Really happy. I’m happy in my marriage. I’m proud of my kids; Cassidy is the best daughter a mom could ever ask for. I really can’t describe what a great child she is. She’s a straight-A student, she’s gotten so much better at soccer, she always takes the initiative - whether it’s chores, homework, whatever. She’s respectful and caring and she’s just the best. There was a time when I struggled with my choice to keep her (when I was 21 or so). I thought maybe I made the wrong decision, that I wasn’t cut out to be a mom, etc. But seriously having her was the best thing ever and I love her sooooo much. Zion is improving in school and his behavior has def improved. It’s still a work in progress but I am proud of him too. I’m happy to end the year on a positive note for once. I’m sure if I were to look back on my OD New Year reflection entries they would be very depressing. I’m in a really good place right now and I hope it stays that way!
This is from my uncle’s wedding in South Carolina. It was such a great trip. Everybody loved Bradley and I got to see my cousin and we got along great. I was sad to leave.
How adorable are they? What I love most about Bradley is he’s a great Dad. And not just a FB for show dad. An honest to God great dad.
Me, my mom, and Cassidy
Random pic of me before our family Christmas party in South Carolina (this was right before I started eating everything and anything).
This was right after Cassidy’s Christmas program at school..
This was at our soccer party. My four favorite players. Literally cried at our last game.
This was last night, we drove to Jacksonville to go to the Taxslayer.com Bowl Game. It is Orta’s last game ever, he graduates this May.
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