A HAIRY STORY in Adventures From Prison

The other morning it was a whopping 12 degrees outside. Even in Chicago that’s a damn cold morning, but in prison it is brutal. The BOP give us jackets made of the least wind resistant or insulating material I’ve ever felt along with a thin ski cap and a pair of gardening gloves. Needless to say inmates are pretty creative when it comes to staying warm. I’ve seen guys do just about anything I could think of…until that morning.
I was returning with my bag of clean clothes from the laundry when I passed a man from my unit. He’s a big guy with the longest dreadlocks I’ve ever seen. He’s from the south so this kind of cold isn’t normal for him.
Like all of us he was wearing his jacket and gloves, but instead of a hat or a scarf, the man had literally wrapped his entire head, except for his eyes, in his own dreadlocks.
I nearly dropped my laundry. It was just so weird. I still can’t decide if that’s sheer genius born of necessity or if this is a common use for long unwashed hair. Is this some secret long kept by the Rastafarians that I wasn’t supposed to see? If you hear about an inmate found hung from the ceiling with a noose of dreadlocks, you’ll know the truth!! Dreadlocks are a multi-tool in disguise!!
Or maybe I just really need a good night’s sleep