if i were free...
there is a cabin in the Tennessee mountains that looks over a lake of crystal blue...
orange and amber skies try to hide behind cotton candy pink and purple clouds...
the tree's are a light with the fires of autumn, reds, golds and yellows as fog dances through black matchstick trunks...
i stand i the kitchen preparing two warm cups of mint tea and chocolate chip cookies as my Baxter circles, looking for crumbs...
walking into the living room, i see Saber lounging on the couch with Beauregard and Hershal...
there is a huge pane window on the wall to the west...
there is a rocking chair and Jasper laying on the floor in the perpetually setting sun...
theres a blanket that hangs from the back of the chair made of red and white yarn, the kind that is nearly rope...
it was the blanket she would lie under during her chemo...
both times...
her hand reaches out from behind the chair as i pass her a cup of tea and a saucer of 3 cookies...
i want to come around that damned chair...
i want to see her face...
i want to see what the setting sun does to her incredibly grey eyes...
i want to lay down beside her as the last rays fade to black...
to touch her and hold her through a quiet, warm autumn night...
but i have sinned...
i've done something unforgivable and i must remain behind...
i'll never know her grace again...
and thats my fault...
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