death...
its a participation award, that's been tuned into TE lifetime achievement award...
i passed a funeral procession today because i didn't have the gas to set and watch a group of loved ones parade a corpse through the streets like a Macey's Thanksgiving Day parade through the streets.
As I'm standing at the pump throwing the last of my cash into the tank, Officer Crumbkey rolls up and starts with the whole cop hing;
"You know why i pulled you over?"
cause i was standing here for 10 minutes already, outside of my PARKED vehicle, pumping gas into said PARKED vehicle?
"No. I pulled you over because you passed a funeral."
okay, lets try this a different way. me standy outside not roley car, you, stupid head, pull in behind not roley car. how officer pudding brain pull over not roley car?
*pudding brain stares coldly at me*
well?
"You passed a funeral procession."
prove it...
"We got reports that you passed a funeral."
again pudding brain, show me the evidence. show me ring cam, dash cam, web cam, cell phone cam fingerprint, foot print, that says I did anything WRONG. because without an eye witness to point out I'm the guy, I'm going to need you to step back and fuck all the way off!
"I'm going to need your license and registration."
You cant have it. If you're out driving around without a license then you need to turn yourself in and the city already has your car registered. now go away.
Pudding Brain stood for a moment staring at me. It then got in its car and sat waiting for me to finish pumping gas. little did it know that i knew what it was up to, so i went inside picked up a couple of breakfast sandwiches and a bottle of mellow yellow, went to a window seat in the gas station eating section, sat down and ate until it finally gave u and drove off. I flipped it off as it slowly drove by the window.
i know, one day, I'll end up running into a police officer that had a B average in high school and i will not be able to bugs bunny my way out of my own antics, but for now, thank you Joe Biden for lowering the national test scores and making it possible for short bus students to become officers of the law...
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