Monday

rain

The weekend was filled with busy time. good busy time tho. I cant complain. I like busy time at work. makes me feel like i do something. feel needed and valuable. knowing not everyone would have handled it well... 

passed out in my bed yesterday after 3 long days at work and slept for 10 hours straight.

I dont know how long this entry will be. Lots of things I dont want to write about. Just imagine you had 3 busy days at work, and thats what I had, times two. 

Now I'm looking at one week off work. Much needed. Havent had time off since summer. I need this break from work.. I really do.. Sometimes things get to me that otherwise wouldnt. Stuff annoys me quicker and so on.. I'm a successful experiment on why vacation days are nessecary at this point. 

On the other hand.. Sometimes I wish I would climb the ladder and be one of those that just work 24/7/365. I really long for some more responsibility sometimes... not being the "small" executive that I am. but then again. doesnt everyone - up to a certain point - have a certain someone they have to abide? like theres always a higher up manager.. or the board .. or the vorstand.. or idk... some controlling figureine in the background. 

ah well.. I really cant complain.. I had a long talk with one of my collegues yesterday.. we talked about how it really is a place to retire where we are yet.. but also .. how it really isnt.

We are both unsure. we both come from a similar background.. we both now are starting to finally(?) become adults.. like the whole house wife and kids thing.. and all off a sudden we start being like.. this job we do for over 10 years.. is it really what we want? or is it what we need? money is good right.. but work hours sometimes arent..

I dont have problems working unorthodox hours.. but I cant stand nightshifts anymore... I dont have a lot of nights to work.. but man.. i just wanna sleep at home.. not stay in the office...

who knows how long it will rain? or just how many of them are buried out there?