she was embarking on a long journey to some different space via a different route. her mind was muddled in the mediocre madness called daily life, and she just needed to find a way to release.
she came across writing via a simple community advertisement in the daily newspaper sometime in 2007, and wanting to pen articles for an environmental newsletter decided to attend the next meeting. meetings were interesting, most participants wrote short stories and poems, some persons even presented excerpts from books they were working on, some read their song lyrics. her own ideas started to flow, but at first she didn't think of anything like poetry, only the newsletters were on her mind. she was engulfed in varied events, meetings, consultations, presentations, policies, penning and editing newsletters was her focus so there was absolutely no surprise when an introductory journalism course eventually came up in a 2009 writing meeting and she decided to sign up. at first it was appealing and she was enthusiastic, but over the course's duration things and thoughts went awry, the atmosphere changed. for an introductory program things were so strict, so stringent. inwardly she now felt urges for retaliation and rebellion, maybe it was just a sort of disenchantment, or disappointment suddenly falling down on her. she put so much enthusiasm into this and now that was all fading... but despite being accustomed to detaching herself from most things and situations, she continued attending the writing meetings, after all, she did enjoy listening to the other writer's work. hearing the thoughts and experiences of others took her back to a past she mostly wanted to forget, back to a mental past where we are encouraged to think positively and to put the real but negative things aside. but she realised that writing seemed to be a good tool for relieving the self of angers and disappointments (like the journalism course). she soon realised that writing could be used as a means of release, an inner release no one else would ever understand, and time in its singularity continued.
now here she is on this new and strange journey, where instead of forgetting things, the mind chooses to remember, and to better understand the true causes of thoughts and problems. here was her mind crossing those barriers surrounded with life's caution tape. here was herself ignoring every rule and regulation for existing. here was herself approaching the negativity, interacting with it, then realising the causes of situations and the sources of inner issues. here was herself looking beyond interruptions in self esteem.
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©️ mvclarke, for much deliberation, March 2026
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