I’ll write a rant here and then just set the whole thing to private because I just don’t want to come off as complaining all the time even tho I am lol.
Things, are things. I didn’t imagine life in my 40s would be like this most days. The world feels like it’s in fire and combined with depression I get into makes it feel like why bother doing things?
I forced myself to do a bunch of little tasks here and there downstairs because I have a lot of just little doom piles of things all over. Things that need to go upstairs things that a need put away downstairs etc. I think making myself get those few things done gives me a micro burst to keep going. I’ve needed to mop the entire downstairs for a long long time plus after winter and salt and stuff in places it needed it. So I finally drug that stuff out and did it. I like clean floors, I just hate the mop system and filling it and lugging it around and then dumping it out and rinsing it out and the mop head needs washed and dried before putting it all back away. It takes a chore and then extends it by about 2 hours. So then I just put it off.
But husband is playing D&D this weekend so I wanted to do that. Pickup all my junk and then clean the downstairs bathroom and general area.
I still need to figure out a grocery list for tomorrow as well.
The son has a dentist appointment here in about an hour and 20 mins so he’ll come home brush his teeth quickly and then husband is going with him just because paperwork needs filled out and we needed to ask them if the next time he has his appointment he can just come in himself or we need to fill out a piece of paper or what. Because the dentist office is closer to his HS then our house and I try to get appointment past school hour so he doesn’t miss things.
It’s super nice out today and will be for what looks like a week and then the temps drop down into the 50s again. This kind of weather makes me want to spruce up the yard and do all those things and then 20 mins into that project I want to just call it quits lol. The plans in the front of the house I think are suffering from a fungal infection. I’m guessing having rubber mulch probably doesn’t help that. But I spent a lot of money on that stuff so I’d have to dig it all up and replace it and …yea…just not doing that. I honestly love the look of gardens but I’m terrible at keeping things alive and it just bores me.
I’ve gotta pay the bills here and be prepared for a hike in those costs.
I’m currently not talking to my Mother because Im tired of her being judgmental. When do you stop just excusing someone for being rude and hurtful because they are getting older and somehow have seem to lose their filter for keeping their opinions to themselves.
I Just had enough of it two days ago. She knows I’m angry too so she can either apologize or not talk to my at this point. I’m not calling her and I don’t want her at the house visiting. I told my husband I’d give it a week but every time I think about it I get more angry.
I’m a 40 year old adult. Yes she’s my Mom and she’s entitled to an opinion but I’m entitled to ignore it too. Especially when I never asked for the opinion and to talk badly about me to my kid also angers me. So yea. Had enough of that.
Anywho. I should probably stop yapping on here wasting time I could be doing a few more chores before I really sit down and crash out. So I’ll be back later.
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