Not doing the challenge today. I'm in so much fucking pain. I had to take 5 Tramadol in 12 hours because the pain was that bad. I took 2 at 6:45am and it helped for a couple hours, but now, the pain is back with a vengeance. I just want some relief. I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I feel like I can't keep going on like this. I just want to overdose on painkillers. Not enough to kill myself, just enough to render me unconscious for a few days while my body does what it needs to do in order to heal.
I had a very rough night last night. I took 2 Tramadol around 7pm and promptly fell asleep. Geno woke me up at 9pm so I could take my nightly nedication. My abdomen was hurting so fucking bad, I took another 2 Tramadol and upon inspecting it closely, I discovered that one of the abscesses they drained at the hospital on Tuesday night had closed over and a bunch of pus/blood was "trapped" inside. Basically, it re-abscessed. I waffled over whether or not to go to the hospital. I knew if I went, I'd be admitted and this time, I wouldn't sign out AMA (Against Medical Advice). Finally, I told Geno if I was able to rupture/drain the reinfected abscess, I'd stay home. If I couldn't drain it myself, then I'd go in because it would be very likely that I'd wind up septic. So I cut into it and while it didn't drain at first, after a bit of prodding, I was able to drain it. There was a LOT of shit in there, like probably 2 tablespoons, maybe even 3. A "normal" abscess will drain approximately .5 to 1 tablespoons. But mine tend to be very large for some reason. Anyway, after draining it, I watched TV for a little bit, dozing off here and there before finally just passing out shortly after 10pm. I woke up a handful of times during the night, which is normal for me. I don't think I've slept through more than two or three nights in the last 10 years. At one point, around 4:30am, Yoda jumped up next to me on the bed and stuck his face against mine. I could feel something lightly brush against my face and woke with a start as when I opened my eyes, Yoda's face was RIGHT THERE, an inch away from mine. I pet him a little bit while trying to fall back to sleep. Every time I would nod off, Yoda would nudge my arm or face with his head, like he was saying "Don't stop petting me now! PET ME! PET ME! PET ME!". So I gave him a good 10 minute long petting and then rolled over so he couldn't nudge me anymore. At least not in the face or my arms/hands. He got the hint and buggered off until 6:15am. I woke up at that point and couldn't fall back to sleep no matter how hard I tried. So I laid in bed for the next 2 hours, Yoda by my side, getting loves and pets, the pain in my right thigh (where they drained a HUGE abscess) was getting worse and worse. It was to the point that I couldn't even stretch out my leg and lay it on the bed, I had to lie there with my right knee bent, otherwise the pain was excruciating. I took another 2 Tramadol in hopes that it would help the pain or maybe even knock me out for a couple hours, but no such luck. I just laid there for 2 hours until Geno got back from the pharmacy.
Our TV reception has been kinda shitty the last little while, but this last week and a half, it's been really, really bad. The image on the screen pixelates and "skips". So on Tuesday, I called Shaw and they did what they could over the phone from their end, had me fiddle with the cables a bit and when none of it worked, they set us up with a tech. The earliest they could come out was Friday, but Geno had is endoscopy that day, so we took the next available time which was today (Sunday) 9-11am. The tech called at 8:35am asking if we were up and could he come by in about 10 minutes. Sure, might as well get it over and done with as soon as we can, right? So he came and checked everything out on the inside, said it all looked good, then he went outside to check those cables. Apparently one of the cable wires has "expired" and needs to be replaced. But because of their safety standards, he couldn't put a ladder against the house or something, I don't really remember the explanation, so he's putting in a work order and another technician will be here in the next two days to replace the cable. He doesn't need to come inside, we don't even have to be home, so that's good. I just can't wait to have decent cable reception again! Enough already with the pixelating and skipping.
Well, it's now just after 2pm and I am so ready for a nap. Geno's watching "28 Days Later" on TV right now and I've been half assedly paying attention, but it's just so not my kind of movie. So, I shall go have a ciggy, then I'm gonna see if I can have a bit of a nap.
I don't know how much longer I can keep going on like this...how much shit do I have to go through?! Enough already, just cut me a fucking break! Please?! PLEASE!
Sarah. xoxox
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