My lunchtime is almost over, and I need to get my mind back into the grind. I just feel like writing an entry right now. Feeling really tired today. I have dark circles under my eyes. I really need to bust ass on some projects at work, and it’s overwhelming to me. So I procrastinate. In a few minutes, I will sit down and break these things down into smaller pieces that are easier to swallow. For now, I will sit at my computer, relax a little and write.
Yesterday wore me out.
Had a meeting with a new VP that everyone’s freaking out about. The gossip sessions only make it worse! I knew I had the meeting, but according to Boss, the meeting was going to be a meet and greet and not much more. Boss later got me all worried about it by asking all kinds of questions and making sure I was prepared and then another co-worker got me upset by telling me that she’d just had meeting with him where she felt like she was being grilled in an interview process! Well, by the time the meeting finally took place, I was so worked up and nervous that I just knew he was going to think that I was a dumbass! I pretty much willed it to happen! By the time it was over and done with and he left the room, my eyes were watery just from sheer frustration. Boss was still there, and she told me not to cry. CRY??!! I wasn’t going to cry, but she thought I was going to break down right then and there!! There goes my “outstanding” performance rating!!!
Went to my workout class after work. Kickboxing rocks. It is such a stress-reliever and I always feel fantastic afterwards. The great thing about last night was that a lot of people didn’t show up. There was lots of room to spread out! I love that. I could kick and punch like nobody’s business knowing that I wouldn’t accidentally knock someone out by a stray side kick or something!
My friend Stephanie wanted to go out afterwards and I knew she would want to go out, so luckily I remembered to pack a little “after workout” number into my gym bag! Actually, it was a really cute dress that is made out of a knit polyester with a mesh overlay….so easy to pack because I can just wad it up into a ball and pack it anywhere and it will never wrinkle! Perfect! I will be taking it on my business trip next week for those dinner parties that have been set up!! This dress was actually a little too fancy for where Stephanie wanted to go, but I figured that we might want to go somewhere else. But we never did.
There was a guy there who’d called me the night before on my cell phone. William. I’d met him at the bar once before… months ago! He’s a former cop. Really hot. Great, great bod…in fabulous shape. Looks like a freakin’ model. Anyway, he called me on my cell and I didn’t recognize the number. He was trying to make me guess who the hell he was. I mean this game must’ve gone on for five straight minutes!! Finally, FINALLY after he explained the whole thing (there’s a long story attached to how we met), I realized who he was. I was very surprised to say the least. It was awkward for me after that.
Anyway, he was at the bar last night making me feel really self-conscious. When we talked, he looked deep, deep into my eyes…like he was trying to get down to my soul. Now don’t get me wrong. I love, love luuuuuuuuuv it when a guy who I’m in love with does that to me. But when a guy who I’ve met once does it, it’s very unnerving! I couldn’t look him in the eye after that. He’d go off every once in a while to talk to other people, but every time he’d come back and touch me on the waist or rub my shoulder or something. I don’t know why, but I was so annoyed by that.
Finally, after only two beers, I’d had it and I was so ready to go home. I felt bad leaving Stephanie because we’d hardly even talked, but she was fine because there were a lot of other friends there. William insisted on walking me to my car. I reluctantly let him. When we got to my car, he wanted to linger. I just wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and pull the covers up over my head. He told me to call him when I made it safely home.
I left. Drove home. I didn’t call. I made myself a cheese quesadilla. He called. I didn’t answer. I crawled into bed and pulled the covers up over my head.
I am so tired today I can hardly function. But I do need to go now as there is work to be done and it’s not getting done right now.
Until next time…
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