Oral Dilemma (part 2) in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

…yep…front tooth! Oh, and not just any front tooth, mind you. The one with a porcelain veneer on it! The bump to the elbow was not even that hard! It was just a light click!, but then I felt the damn veneer snap off! Oh shit. Young Blond Elvis looked at me, and asked if I was okay, but the only thing I could manage to do was smack my hand in front of my mouth, look at him with shock and horror, and run to the bathroom without saying anything to him! I just ran!

Luckily, Linda just happened to be in the bathroom at the same time I ran in there in a full-on panic. I looked at her, and just said, “We gotta get out of here.” Linda looked at me, puzzled. I spit out my Chicklet, explained to her what had just happened, and then smiled a drunken, snaggletoothed smile.

Now. I swear to you that it would take a saint to not just break down in uncontrollable fits of laughter at my pathetic state. But I’ll be damned if Linda didn’t just keep a straight face and calmly ask me what she could do to help me.

“Super Glue,” was what I finally managed to say. “I need Super Glue.”

Linda took another look at me and then said, “No problem. There’s a 7-11 right across the street! Come on!”

And with that, we left the bathroom, grabbed Head Honcho and told him what was going on. As we were leaving the club, I noticed both Young Blond Elvis and that gorgeous NZ rugby player—the one who told me that there was no way he was going to meet me there! I know they both noticed me…but I was on a mission. There was no way that I could stand there, looking quite a lot like Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber, and explain to either of them what was going on with my mouth. Let alone try to figure out which one to talk to first!

Oh, but just in case, we got our hands stamped as we walked out of the club!

Once we got outside, Head Honcho was relentless (as I had expected he would be)! He was laughing so hard. Well, for a while anyway. I think he thought that I was going to cry. I’m sure I would have if I hadn’t been so dee-runk! I kept repeating over and over…

“This is a nightmare…”

“This is a nightmare…”

Head Honcho became a sweet, father-like figure. He looked at me sweetly and kissed me on the cheek. Told me it would be okay. That he would get me to a dentist if the Super Glue didn’t work…that is, after the buzz wore off!

Walked literally across the street and into the 7-11, where Linda immediately found something called Aron Alpha Instant Glue. Well, it looked like Super Glue anyway. I was desperate. I would have used Elmer’s if I had to!

We walked out of the place and opened the package right there on the sidewalk. I pulled out my compact, dropped some glue on my chip of a tooth, and performed a little cosmetic dental repair right there on the streets of Wanchai!

Head Honcho told me to smile. [Tense Smile] He looked at me and just grinned from ear to ear. It worked!! It really worked! And it looked like nothing had ever happened!!

Good thing, too. Because we took our hand-stamped selves and marched right back into the dance club! It appeared I had some ‘splainin to do, because NZ Rugby was standing right at the entrance as if he knew that I’d come back to talk to him.

“Why did you tell me to come here if you were just going to blow me off?”

Oh great. Yep. I definitely had some fast-talking to do! But wait a second. Screw that! I didn’t need to explain anything! Who the hell was he? Well, some very tall, very large, very handsome New Zealander, that’s who. I stuttered and stammered for a minute, and then I just said, “I’m sorry, but I had a little emergency that I had to deal with.”

And I left it at that.

Well, I guess that my explanation was fine, because he then asked me when I was going to leave the place with him and go back to his hotel! That’s right! What the hell? And I knew I’d detected a wedding band before, but at that point I grabbed his hand and asked, “Aren’t you married??”

“Well, yes….but we’re both here in Hong Kong and…you asked me to come to this club, and….well….let’s be adults here.”

Adults? ADULTS?? I’ll show you adult! I slid right in, under his big, strong arms and purred and looked into his eyes and he lowered his head and planted a giant, delicious kiss—right on my recently repaired (rigged?) mouth!!

With that, I turned and walked away. Without a word, I walked right back up to Head Honcho and Linda, who were standing by the door waiting to go to the next place! Too bad I never got to say goodbye to Young Blond Elvis.

I’m guessing it was about 4am at that point. We were off and running again! The rest of the night was a giant fuzzy blur. I remember going to three more bars in particular. One had a band fronted by a girl with a really interesting voice. It was an amazing copycat voice—only without any sign of soul. She could sing anything beautifully, but no feeling! Strange. I wish I could remember the stuff she was singing. I want to say it was old 80s cover tunes, but I really have no recollection. I do remember dancing, though. Musta liked it a little anyway!

I vaguely remember some little hole-in-the-wall bar after that. There were girls dancing on the bar. And then there were guys dancing on the bar, holding onto the girls. I was confused (a state that had become normal during the course of the night). The place was thinning out, and I can’t remember if it was there that I met someone who told me that we needed to go to a place called Strawberries.

Naturally, Head Honcho, Linda and I decided that it would be a great idea to go to this place, even though we had no idea where it was. We stumbled down the street asking random people for directions to Strawberries. Nobody understood us—except for a cop—who pointed us right around the corner. The only thing that I remember about Strawberries was that it was full of Asian prostitutes and gwylos (white guys). Hm. I can’t remember if I danced, but I think I did. Yeah. I’m pretty sure I did.

I’m pretty sure I’m at the end of my 6500-character limit too!!