Over the course of a few weeks or so, Ive been browsing the online personals as others have been browsing my profile. Just sorting through the riff raff is mind-boggling. I feel strange getting notes from guys and taking less than five seconds to just delete them right out of my life. I guess its a little like reading resumes or something. And Im finally taking the attitude of, why waste time? If you dont really like what you see from the start, why try to make something of it?
That said, I have actually been having some banter with a guy who I find incredibly attractive. Not really even his looks, although the glasses and the receding hairline and the quirky crooked smile are pulling at my heartstrings. Its just that I can tell hes different. And I mean that in an amazingly wonderful way. And I dont want to say too much because I fear the jinx more than ever at this point in time.
Ive only met ONE guy through this thing, and I was disappointed beyond belief.
I just couldnt write an entry without mentioning it, because fantasizing about him took a lot of my mental energy yesterday. And no, dummy. Not in a sexual way. I seriously had to force myself not to stalk him simply out of curiosity. By that I mean just drive by his house to check out his scene. He works out of his home, and I know where he lives because (a) his address was on his e-mail, and (b) he told me exactly where he lives and noted that we live close, and (c) his address is published on his website too.
Anyway. I was out running errands yesterday and the thought of doing a drive-by occurred to me, but then I felt guilty for some reason. Like what if he was out in the front lawn and recognized me from my picture that I posted? Or what if I got a flat tire right in front of his house or something? Im an idiot.
Since Ive now written all this down, Im gonna have to give him a name. Theo. OK.
So last night, I got on the dating site to check e-mails and such, and Theo pops on the IM! Weve gone back and forth before about how were both really picky and how hes met two girls who were nothing to write home about. But he asked me if I would be up for meeting after Christmas! And I nearly burst with excitement!
Its funny too, because he went on to tell me that he had been in my neighborhood earlier and I wondered if he was stalking ME! I told him that I would be really upset if hed gone Christmas caroling again and not knocked on my door (hed gone the week before with the Sunday School class that he teaches). Nope. Said hed been to a party with his parents. Cute. That sounds like me. Mentioned a very famous sports figure who was there. Said the party was plastic and boring. I guess thats why he was on the site at around 9:00 last night!
Im leaving a lot of stuff out because of the jinx factor here .ooh, theres so much I want to say!! I hope this sort of makes sense. If not, I hope that things go well for us and I can piece this thing together in a coherent manner later.
We IMd for a long time. We joked about Christmas traditions and how he was going to have to get out and do some last minute shopping today. And then he told me to check my e-mail because hed just sent me something.
It was a note with two pictures attached so that I would more easily recognize him when we meet. They were of him in NYC over the summer. That smile. God, hes so much cuter than the first picture he has posted on the dating site. That one is all shadowy and almost eerie, and you cant get a true sense of what he really looks like. I swear, I almost passed him by the first time I looked at his profile. But that smile.
Dammit. I got the butterflies. I do not want to get this excited about someone just yet. But theres nothing I can do.
Finally, he told me it was his bedtime (which I think is just adorable because it was 10:30 which is really my bedtime too, but I could have talked to him all night). He told me hed be in touch tomorrow night. I really want to see him Wednesday. Im devoting much of my mental energy today to send the Wednesday vibes to him.
I am a retard.
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