Here are just a few:
1. On one of your most important workdays, count on having some sort of major dental catastrophe.
2. The harder you bust your ass at work, the more your performance appraisal will suck.
3. On the day you decide to wear your most beautiful, laciest, tiniest pair of panties that make you feel all sexy and feminine just walking around in them, you will start your period.
4. You will get nervous and sweat profusely on the day you forget to put on deodorant.
5. Your outfit will always look fifty times cuter in your full-length mirror at home than when you get to your destination and check yourself out in a different mirror.
6. You will rant and rave about some guy blowing you off in your diary, only to have him come around the second you hit the “send” button.
7. A guy will always want to get all hot and heavy on a date on the day when you didn’t have time to shave your legs.
8. You will always like either the boys who don’t like you or the boys who live too far away or the boys who are bad, bad, BAD and vice versa.
9. No matter what the project, you will procrastinate until the last minute, causing you to sweat profusely while not wearing any deodorant.
10. No matter how much weight you lose, you’ll always have your grandmother’s hips.
11. No matter how old you get, you will always cultivate strategically placed zits before any special/important occasion.
12. You will always eat, drink, or otherwise indulge more than you think you will.
13. Sleep is always optional unless you have some time on your hands when you could actually be doing something productive with your life.
14. You will always have trouble with punchlines of jokes and snappy comebacks, but you will have no problem thinking of them as soon as you’re out of earshot and the moment is gone.
15. No matter what, your cat will always love you.
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