(Part 3 in the continuing saga )
Let’s see. Where was I? Oh yeah. At Bar #2 with Devin and crew. Just gotten off the phone with Ethan and walked upstairs to the rooftop patio where everyone was sitting. We sat and talked for a little while, and I decided that I was just feeling frisky enough to test the waters with Devin. I slipped off a sandal and started in with some harmless foot play. Ran a toe up into the cuff of his jeans and back down along his ankle. Positive reaction. Foot went ever so slightly higher and he eyed me while I moved my hand closer to his so that he took my hand and played with my fingers. Sweet.
At this point all the friends had decided to go back down into the bar area and Devin told me that he was ready to go home. He said he had a long day on Monday (first patient was at 7am.), but asked me if I wanted to come over and have just a glass of wine. I said okay. After all, my car was parked at his place!
Devin is the epitome of bachelor. From the giant screen TV and the turntable setup all the way down to the empty cupboards. I found it quite charming. And I was much less intimidated when it was just the two of us. One on one. I can tell that something’s not quite right with Devin’s situation. Not that I could even imagine the possibility of him changing because I think he’s boxed himself into this “personality”, but I don’t know if he was really meant to be party boy. It just doesn’t seem to fit him. I think his friends are pure plastic. I don’t think they love him. Seriously. The guy is pretty loaded and he has a lot of toys and lots of purchase power. There are lots of people in this town that sniff that shit out and cling to it and suck it down and pretend to love. I hope he doesn’t believe it. He’s smarter than that. I hope. He has a rockstar lifestyle. And that can make a lot of people happy. But I know he’s deeper than that. I just know it. I can sense it. And it makes me feel just the teensiest bit sorry for him.
I sat on a big oversized sofa and he sat down next to me and poured me some wine and we kissed. Nice, sweet kisses. He asked me if I knew how sexy I was. And then answered the question himself. “Yeah. You know you’re sexy.” And kissed me some more.
Things started getting steamy and he asked me if I wanted to see the rest of his place. Uh oh. Told him I couldn’t. It was a bit of an awkward moment, but there’s no way
So we decided that I should be going, and he walked me to my car. And I think he told me that he’d call me sometime, but I can’t remember now, and I don’t know if I even really want him to. He would be hard (if not impossible) to date. Although I’m sure I’d still try given the chance.
Called Ethan no sooner than I rounded the corner from Devin’s to make sure he and his friends were still at Bar #3. Sure enough, they were there and I told him I was on my way.
It was approaching 10:00 at that point. I’d been out since 3. Still hadn’t eaten. See where I’m going with this?
Saw Ethan sitting at a pretty large table. Walked up and hugged him and introductions were made all around. I was starting to feel a little tired and worn out from the day’s events, and the group was nice enough but I’m not so sure I fit in quite right just like I wasn’t so sure I fit in with Devin’s group. Strange. Two totally different scenes, neither one fitting quite right. Hm.
Someone ordered tequila shots. The night became very fuzzy.
Ethan and I ended up at Bar #4. I remember kissing. I remember Ethan’s hands. Bar #4 finally gave us the boot. Ethan drove me to my car. We kissed a while in his car, and he asked me to spend the night with him.
[[now familiar record scraaaatch]]
Um. What? Does anyone remember a certain dumping that happened about a week earlier??! Because I was still feeling the sting.
He explained a few things. Unresolved issues. You know what that means. Someone else in the picture. Said he was seeing her when we met. I suppose I should have asked for clarification, but I was just too damn weary at that point.
He also told me that he was just unsure about starting anything with me out of fear that I’m going to find some other job somewhere and leave. Well guess what? There are no promises in life. I’m finally learning that the hard way. [Side note: I need to update on the job situation, but I’ve been procrastinating. In fact I may have procrastinated myself right out of my current job. I just found something out today. Not good. Not good at all.]
He said he still wanted to see me. That he couldn’t promise anything (see above), but that he didn’t want to just stop. I told him not to fuck with me. That the things he said had hurt. Don’t screw with my feelings like that. If you want to see me, fine. If you want to keep it casual, fine. Then don’t tell me about all the things you’re searching for in me. Don’t tell me that the fact that I’m so independent makes you uncomfortable. It is what it is. I am what I am. Let’s just find out about each other instead of trying to figure out all the ways that it won’t work, ya know?
He asked me again if I wanted to spend the night. And I told him again that as much as I’d like to at that point, I just couldn’t. It was well after 3am, and I was going to have to be at work in a few hours. I made a motion to leave, and he told me he’d call me the next day.
And now, I’m almost caught up here. Yesterday was a drag. Literally. I was dragging ass all day long. After work, I went home and napped for a little while. And Ethan really did call. We talked for quite a while. And I went to bed at a decent hour. So I’m feeling a little more normal today.
Normal? Okay, that’s debatable.
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