New Places, Red Faces, Old Vices in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

Back from The Great Midwestern Apartment Hunt. Was successful, I think. I looked at several places. Some with the help of Angie, the rental agent, some with the advice of a fellow OD-er, some just completely on my own.

I ended up filling out an application and putting a deposit on a charming little two bedroom apartment on the top floor of a beautiful old building. It was constructed in 1928, and sits on the edge of a fun, bustling part of town. All of the buildings in this small district were named after poets, and my building is named after a children’s poet circa the late 1800s. The entryway of the building reminds me of an old New York hotel. There’s a marble stairway and marble and mirrored walls and large old light fixtures.

The apartment itself is darling, and there are a lot of windows to let in the sunlight (which I need), and a fantastic ledge in one of the big windows for Kitty to watch the comings and goings from above. My sunroom will overlook a little green park that is dedicated to cancer survivors. My unit has a fireplace and built-in bookshelves with screened cabinets. The bedrooms are small and cozy, and that’s nice. They are connected by a sweetly tiled old-time bathroom (no, no clawfoot tub, wah!). The living and dining areas are nice and spacious. The kitchen leaves a little (okay, a lot) to be desired, but they told me that I can paint and remodel in any way that I want! Plus, I’m not much of a kitchen person anyway, right? Rent is really reasonable, and the location is great.

Anyway, all in all, I think the place is simply perfect for me (except for the parking situation, but that’s another story), and I know I will love living there.

I can’t wait to start decorating the place! I’m going to need to buy furniture for the second bedroom because I’m used to only one. I want to get a nice daybed, maybe sleigh-style. With a trundle bed so I can have lots of guests! Saw one on e-Bay. Then, I want to get a sewing table so I’ll actually have a place to sew instead of setting up on my dining room table!

I’m really excited about the place.

I’m not excited, however, about the Super T situation. I wish someone would just knock me over the head when it comes to him. I’m 99% sure that when I move it will be all over with him. Why am I clinging to that 1% hope??

I guess it’s because he came to my going-away happy hour on Thursday looking and acting like the most wonderful guy in the world. I was trying to talk with everyone there, but every time that we were standing or sitting side by side, he was constantly touching me. Holding my hand or wrapping an arm around me or something. He talked to everyone and was so adorable. He had everyone laughing, and it seemed like whole place loved him. And apparently, he talked about me to my girlfriends while I was schmoozing with some other people. He talked about possibly starting to look for a job in my new city!

See, he’s not happy with his job situation. At all. In fact, it appears that his company is going out of business. Soon. He’s going to have to find another job within a month or so anyway. Now’s the perfect time! Plus, his whole family lives about an hour away from where I’m going to be living! It just makes perfect sense!

So all my girlfriends came running up to me telling me everything that he’d told them!! And of course, I got all excited about it. And yes, I did add a little fuel to the fire when I whispered sweet nothings and the fact that I didn’t have any panties on in his ear.

Let’s just say that Thursday night was an excellent night. Perfect.

But then flash forward to the weekend. With him, it’s so obvious that when I’m out of sight, I’m out of mind. Because I found out that he’d spent a lot of time over the weekend partying with Nicole, my downstairs neighbor. I don’t know if I’ve written about her before. Let’s just say that I think it may have been a mistake to introduce those two. I could hardly contain my jealousy when I found that out. I didn’t rag on him or anything, but I think my couple of seconds of surprised silence gave me away.

Add to that the fact that I can tell he’s really upset and worried about his job, or soon-to-be lack thereof.

Add to that the fact that I was so ready and willing to rock his troubles away last night—all night, yet got completely turned away.

Add to the fact that I have no idea when I’m going to see him again. I know I’ll see him before I leave. But…when?? The guy never makes plans ahead of time. But then, what guy ever does?

And whatever. It’s obvious that he either doesn’t care or he’s trying to avoid the situation. Whichever the case may be, I’m spending far, far too much time and energy worrying about the boy and what his fucking deal is and whether or not he really wants to make any kind of effort towards having a relationship. And if he doesn’t, then why tell my friends how much he likes me and how he might possibly move to my new area?

It’s embarrassing. I hate mixed signals.

Damn. I’ve wasted too much OD space on him already. Must stop stressing about him!!!

So let’s see. More important things….

The moving van guy came today to take a survey of my stuff. Says it’s an easy move. I then had to tell him that I’m moving to the top floor of my new building! Which should be fine for most things, but there’s only one elevator in the building….and it’s very small!! He took all kinds of notes after that.

I love just passing that off to someone else and not worrying about it!

Went to Home Depot this afternoon to get some spackle to fill in all the millions of holes I’ve made in these walls. Now I need to start taking down all of the window coverings. The movers will take all of the paintings and small shelves and stuff down. You can’t imagine how many things I have hanging. Seriously. I’ve left no wall space uncovered. Maybe I should have gotten a big tub of spackle instead of the little container the guy suggested…hmmm.

Wow. Did I say more important things or more mundane things? I really should get on the ball and do some things around here!

I do have one confession to make before I close this entry.

I’ve been smoking again. Quite a bit lately. In fact, I went out this afternoon and bought my first pack in over two years! Not good, GS. Not good.

I don’t know why I’m smoking again now. I’ve been through a lot more stressful times since I quit a couple of years ago. But I know I need to nip it in the bud. Or the butt. Soon. Like now.

Or when I finish this pack.

Shame on me.