Nights Like Tonight in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

Uh oh. It’s hitting me tonight. A severe case of the lonelies. Damn. Just when I thought I was scot free. Nope. No such luck.

I’m not weepy. Yet.

But I have been running around and it feels like I’m only running in circles. I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished enough around the apartment, and now I’m stressing about Christmas shopping and my presentation the week after next and the fact that I have to present someone else’s line in San Francisco on Wednesday.

And everybody in this freakin’ town appears to be coupled up and happy as clams, and here I am wandering all over town, alone and lonely. I feel like such a dork. I feel so lonely tonight.

Lonely enough, in fact, to call Super T AND Canuk. Neither one answered, so I left voice mails to both. Ended up calling my mommy, but got annoyed with the conversation and told her that I had to go.

It’s not that I want to talk, it’s that I want the closeness. I would give anything to be curled up with….someone….(anyone?) tonight. It’s cold outside. Literally and figuratively.

I know this is all part of moving to a new place. And isn’t it all so exciting, and blah, blah blah….but no. Not right now. Right now it just pretty much sucks. Right now I’d give anything for Super T to surprise me and come knocking at my door with a bottle of wine in one hand and a movie in the other and a smile on those luscious lips of his.

And the ironic part of all this is that Super T and I were supposed to be together this weekend anyway! He was supposed to come knocking at my door. I was so excited. Now I’m just achy.

Fuck him.

Okay. Enough whining. Let’s end this entry on a decent note. Three things happened today that made me feel good:

(1) Went to work out with the trainer today and noticed that the talkative trainer was there. I started warming up and the talkative trainer came up and told me that he was going to work with me today because Chuck (original trainer) was busy. I think I embarrassed him because I got it out of him that he’d actually asked Chuck if he could work with me. I had so much fun with TT. He worked me hard through all of my whining and we both laughed the whole time. I’m excited to work out with him again.

(2) Some guy was pulling out of the parking garage as I was walking in, and he rolled down his window like he was going to ask me for directions. He slowed down and actually asked, “Is your hair natural?” I smiled and said, “Of course!” And then he nodded his head with such emphasis and gave me a thumbs-up sign! But it made me smile for a good five minutes.

(3) Went to grab a bite to eat at a little café. The woman behind the counter was talking to the cook and when she turned around she whispered to me, “He was just saying how beautiful you are…..that you look just like a Barbie doll!”

I think I blushed at that one!

Hey, don’t laugh. A girl needs these kind of cheeseball ego-boosters on days like today. I’ll take ‘em however I can get ‘em! They’re almost enough to last me through nights like tonight.

Almost.