2002 in Review in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

So I’ve seen variations of this entry floating around on OD, and I really liked the idea. But I wanted to condense my whole year into one neat, easy-to-read package. So I simply reduced the quotes to three per month and noted what I was referencing in each quote, and you’ll see that it’s a pretty clear picture:

January

1/1–On New Year’s Resolutions: “…stop getting fall-down, shit-talking, disaster-waiting-to-happen, slobbering drunk.”

1/7—On New Year’s Eve: “Wow! The thrill of it all! I’d managed to set myself up for dinner with Mark (Luscious Lips) early in the evening and later, I was gonna get the midnight kiss from Theo (Delicious EVERYTHING)!”

1/29—On life status: “Asking the eternal question: Am I in the right place? The answer that I keep hearing in my head is, NO.”

February

2/17—On preparing to go to Las Vegas for a work convention: “No more playing around, getting sloshed, flirting mercilessly, dancing with wild abandon, twirling across the casino floors, and making out with handsome strangers. This time, I’m on a mission! I’m going to do all of the above plus try to swing myself right into a sweet, new job!”

2/26—On meeting Hy: “I feigned a fainting spell right on the bed. He answered by crawling on top of me and kissing me back to life.”

2/27—On..,.me: “I am the biggest dork on the planet.”

March

3/8—On a night out in Milan, Italy: “I have been groped, kissed, grabbed, kissed some more, and squeezed. I’ve been called beautiful and been kissed some more. I danced until my feet turned blue. I am exhausted. I am completely and utterly happy at this moment in time.”

3/11—On my ex-boss in Europe: “She waddled down the boulevards pointing this way and that, pausing to stop at each and every bonbon and pastry shop.”

3/21—On my unhappiness about work: “And I’m really scared. I’m going to have to move waaaaay out of my comfort zone and just bite the bullet and make a major move.”

April

4/1—On yet another first date: “He found it. He found the thing that makes me go all weak in the knees….the thing that makes me purr like a kitten…. It’s the hair. Play with my hair…touch it, stroke it, run your fingers through it, lavish it with attention…and I’m yours for as long as you keep it up. Damn. He’s good.”

4/23—On my dad: “I loves me some daddy-o!”

4/26—On what hurts: “The part that made me finally break down when I got home last night was the part about me being so damned independent. The part about me not needing anyone. The part about me conquering the world solo. The part about me being ready to take on any challenge anywhere at a moment’s notice. Just me. Alone. By myself.”

May

5/6—On LDL: “He will always be a condescending, overbearing, manipulative weenie. So why do I sometimes feel like I still love him?”

5/9—On needing to get serious about the job search: “Seems I’d rather drink and kiss boys all night than search for a new job. Escapism. Gotta love it.”

5/14—On a conversation with my body: “It will be my own fault if I turn you into a heap of goo.”

June

6/6—On desperation: “How can it be that I still get as nervous around guys at age 34 ½ as I did at 16 ½? I’m positive that my lack of self-confidence vibes are keeping me from connecting with someone. And once again, I’m very aware that I’m oozing desperation.”

6/13—On why I couldn’t get anywhere in my old company: “I’m blacklisted. Untouchable. Unpromotable. Unmovable.”

6/24—On some of the people I knew in Dallas: “I actually enjoyed talking to Princess’s friends. The only drawback was that I had to turn down lots of drugs in the process.”

July

7/2—On how guys treat me: “Just got an e-mail from Theo! Wants to have a ‘secret romantic rendezvous’! Aaaaagggghhhh! So frustrated with these losers who think they can pop in and out of my life any time they please!”

7/3—On wanting to leave my old company: “Mark my words: I will get out.”

7/12—On being harassed at the copy machine at my old company: “Then he leaned forward and whispered in my ear, ‘I’ve always wanted to tell you that you are so incredibly hot and sexy and I just want to take you and bend you over this copy machine right now and just….mmmmmm….’”

August

8/7—On going on a trip to visit LDL (ex-boyfriend): “…inching my way closer and closer to those precious few moments of thrill. And with every step closer, I wonder if it’s going to be worth the wait and the wonder and the nervousness and the laughter and the helpless feeling of falling and the screams and the stomach flips and the heart flutters.”

8/11—On meeting Super T: “I met a guy in the checkout line at the Super Frickin’ Target!!”

8/30—On the interview: “Job interview ROCKED!”

September

9/2—On trying to shake the blues by meeting Best Bud in Miami: “A little salsa, a little shimmy, and a little shake might just do the trick.”

6/3—On the first night I spent with Super T: “Did it. Did it. Did it. Did it. Did I say did it? And I do mean did it.”

9/26—On spending time with Canuk after finding out I got the new job: “I’m just savoring this feeling. I feel attractive and successful and wanted.”

October

10/2—On Big Boss’s reaction to my resignation: “…And slammed her head down on the desk!! And pounded it with her fists!! When she finally lifted her head back up, she sorta held it in her hands and said, ‘Just when I thought I had everything together, it all falls apart!’”

10/5—On leaving: “I’m dreading the day when I have to say goodbye…and pack up my toys and move.”

10/10—On preparing to go to my farewell happy hour: “I think I will take off my panties beforehand and tease him a bit in front of my soon-to-be former co-workers!!”

November

11/1—On the big move: “Freezing cold weather + dreary rainstorms + plane delays + buckets of tears + gallons of alcohol + lots of parties + mass confusion + stress outbursts + unfamiliar faces + uncharted territories + bizarre business meetings + constant prayers = my life the past few days.”

11/2—On seeing Dude on my last night in Dallas: “I’m happy I saw him. Even happier I didn’t screw him.”

11/27—On meeting the hot orthodontist during an alcohol binge: “Turns out, I gave him all of my numbers…work, home and mobile! Not only that….he knew practically everything about me!! Apparently, we talked a lot longer than I’d imagined. Apparently, I’d rambled on and on (remember, I’m lonely). Apparently, I was quite amusing.”

December

12/7—On trying to make it to the airport to get to my new company’s sales meeting: “I made it as far as the exit ramp from the freeway onto the airport highway. That’s when I slid on the sheer ice and onto a median in between two lanes and somehow jumped back onto the ramp, barely missing (by mere inches!) two other cars that had slammed into the guard rail ahead of me!!”

12/14—On the second meeting of the hot orthodontist: “So. This martini bar. It’s damn sexy. And so was my date. And the combination of the sexiness and the late hour and the alignment of the stars and quite possibly the alcohol, made us both a little…uh…amorous.”

12/16—On reinstating my old mantra: “Crop tops by summertime. Crop tops by summertime.”

And there you have it. All of 2002, wrapped up simply. Obviously only three recurring themes in the whole year: 1) Getting a new job, 2) Getting back into shape, 3) Getting the guy.

One out of three? Hey. I’ll take it. That way I’ll