Deep-Throated in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

I’ve got it. That heavy, heavy crud lodged deep my chest and my head. I’ve tried so hard to avoid and fight this crap, but I must’ve picked something up when I was in New York or something. I know Canuk had the tail end of the sniffly coughs and whatnot while I was there. And I know the subway was just crawling with germy-germs. I’m sure they just covered me the second I stepped down into the depths of the “secret underground world” (watched Will & Grace last night). I just feel so tired. My body feels very, very heavy. And I’ve got that kind of deep, throaty, raspy voice. I can barely hear myself through my clogged ears. Even my little internal voice sounds throaty and deep!

Been going to bed early every night since I’ve been back from NY (well, except for Wednesday night, but that’s another story for possibly another time), but I haven’t been sleeping well. Even though the temps are well below freezing, I keep my bedroom windows open. I have to. Because I have the Little Radiator That Could chugging away in my bedroom. I swear, this little bugger puts out the steam! And if my windows were closed, I’d simply melt. I’m sure it’s keeping me sick to keep the windows open and a frigid breeze flowing through my room. Plus, the dumpster for my building is seven stories below my bedroom window, and there is a nightly dumpster diver out there somewhere. I don’t know how this guy does it, but he/she manages to make the absolute loudest noises possible. There’s always breaking glass and lots of clumping and thumping and metal crashing sounds. And it seems to always be around 4am.

But I think that the worry over my presentation is what’s really keeping me awake at night. It’s not until February 7th, but there’s so much to do beforehand, including a business trip that cuts four days out of my prep time. I’m trying to coordinate with my counterpart to make it a cohesive story. We both discussed the fact that we’d like to keep on the same page since we’re both presenting at the same meeting. But we met yesterday, and this coordination thing is going to be harder than we originally thought. Maybe. I may just be overly stressing because I’m not familiar with the way these are normally done. Whatever. I’m nervous and so afraid that I’m going to run out of prep time that it’s keeping me from getting things done.

And speaking of nervous….okay, excitement….Canuk booked his flight for his visit! He’s actually coming to see me. Here! On the weekend that just happens to be attached to Valentine’s Day! I don’t know why his e-mail with the itinerary attached made my heart flutter so much. I mean, we’d discussed it at pretty great lengths. I guess it’s just the fact that he’s actually doing this. Because I think we both play it so cool when we’re together in NY. Like, eh. I’m in NY for business and he’s just a fun guy that I see when I’m there. This feels just a teensy bit different. Strange, even. Good, but strange.

Funny too, that Super T called the other day telling me that he was finally thinking about coming to see me. Finally! But I almost had a small stroke because I thought he was going to mention the same weekend. I think it was the first time I was ever glad to hear him all wishy-washy about something, because I couldn’t pin him down on any kind of a date. Figures. That’s my Super T. I know it won’t be that weekend. Maybe the next?

But then….Dude and I have been e-mailing (still), and I’ve just about flirted my way into some kind of twisted long-distance relationship with him (WHY OH WHY????). He was ready to fly here this weekend! What am I doing??? Luckily, he couldn’t find a ticket for under $550, so he mentioned the weekend after V-Day weekend as well. In his last e-mail, he told me he was about to book the flight and asked me what I thought. Uh. I haven’t answered him yet!!

Am I insane?!

Must be.

Well. I should get ready for work. I need to wear something decent. Something that doesn’t look like Nanook of the North. I’m so not used to the cold! Even though I’ve lived through much, much harsher climates in my past, living in the South for eight years made me soft and wussified. But tonight is a girls’ night, and I think we’re going to the sexy martini bar. And even though I’m feeling as though someone is sitting on my chest and I have twenty cotton balls shoved in each ear and my nose is dripping gunk, I need to wear something a little nicer than an old bulky ragg sweater covered by my gigantic parka (carryovers from my Colorado days). Not sure how I’m going to pull it off, but it’s time to start thinking about it right now!

Damn. So much more to write. I’ve run out of time….

I’ll be back.