Procrastinating on the packing. I just want to sit here and type, type, type. My apartments a mess, and Im supposed to do something with my friend Kim tonight. But its already after six and she hasnt returned my call, so I dont think well be doing anything.
So the packing is waiting and the apartment needs a good once-over, and Im bluesy all over again.
Secret Agent Guy called again and I answered this time. He apologized again for last night. I told him to forget about it its now the past. Told him I was running errands today, so he actually invited me over to his place because he lives near the Target that I was going to. I actually WENT!!
I think I was just curious about how the guy lives. Nice little cottage. Cute and neat. Almost too cute. Theres something about a straight guy who spruces his place up nicer than my place that makes me just a twinge uncomfortable. Hes super anal. Super organized. I could never relax in his place.
He went with me to Target. It was awkward. And in the end, I hurt his feelings about something really stupid. Not going to get into it.
I can tell that he just wants what I want. Someone there. Someone to just hang out with. He wants a girlfriend. Poor lonely guy. I understand. I do. But Im definitely not the one. I cant force it. I certainly cant fake it.
Aarrrrggghhh! Enough about guys!!!!
Glad to hear about the arrest of that al Queda mastermind. I know its not the end of the terrorism, but I hope that it truly is significant. I hope that some of the families and friends of the 9-11 victims feel just a little bit of reprisal and a tiny sense of relief.
Still just a bit nervous about Europe. Nervous about the whole Heathrow airport terrorist threats. Nervous about all the anti-American sentiment over there. But I suppose thats just how its going to be for a long, long time. I do fear terrorism. I do fear war. But I do also have a life to live and work to do and things to take care of. I can only work on things that I can control. Like keeping a low profile and taking care of business.
That might be hard in Spain, where I plan to meet Crazy Tony who attracts attention wherever he goes. But he knows the place inside and out and is a smart, smart man. He was originally going to meet me in London as well, but had a change of plans. Kinda bummed about that. But I really only have one full day there anyway. Quick in and out. No time to hardly even think. Or go to the bathroom for that matter!
The Belgium meetings will be long and boring, so I hear. Well see. Im just happy to be going back to Antwerp. My parents lived there for a few years, and I spent six months there during my twenties just hanging out and partying a lot. I want to try to go back to one of my old haunts there. A tiny pub in the citys center. At one time, my pictures were posted on the walls along with all the other regulars. So much fun! I found my old paper journal from that time while I was looking for my passport. I should post some of those entries someday for old times sake. No, I really havent changed that much since then. Except I was drinking and boy-chasing even more back then! Imagine!
I plan on taking the laptop. I may update, I may not.
Well, Im going to close for now. I may end up back here again tonight. Im just in a writing mood, I guess.
Later.
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