‘Nother Rut. in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

  • April 8, 2003, midnight
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  • Public

Haven’t been writing. I think it’s because I don’t really feel like I’m moving in the right direction. I feel stagnant. In fact, in some respects, I’m moving backwards. No major work stuff going on (besides travel, travel, travel…tomorrow begins a three-day west coast extravaganza and then travel every week for the rest of April). No new home improvement projects started (in fact, the place is a mess). No exciting tales to tell. No gym in like, forever. I’ve been so sleepy. So very, very tired all the time. And I know it’s lack of exercise and catch-up on lack of sleep during my slightly manic phases.

I spent three hours in my lovely dentist’s chair yesterday. I’d decided earlier that I didn’t need any stinkin’ Valium this time. Nosirree. I was gonna be a brave little patient. I also wanted to be fairly coherent so that I could flirtatiously bat my eyelashes while he worked on my mouth. But I found myself really nervous right before I left work to go to his office. And it must’ve showed. Because my counterpart at work asked me what was wrong. I told her. She suggested taking a couple of slugs of vodka or scotch before I went.

That’s CRAZY, I thought.

But where did I find myself before I pulled into the dentist’s office? That’s right. The liquor store. Purchasing a little bottle of Absolut Citron. I figured it would go down easier than most other stuff. Nice. You cannot imagine how I felt knocking back a few from a brown paper bag in the parking lot!! Honestly, I could only sip. I’m not one for slugging the likker. I probably had the equivalent of one shot. But it did soothe the nerves a bit.

Until I got inside and he put on the nitrous. And then it felt like I was going to pass out! And unfortunately, he turned down the juice after that. And soon I was all numbed up, drills were whirring, and my beautiful dentist was encouraging me to “hang on sweetie, you’re doing great.”

There is absolutely no way in hell to bat your eyelashes flirtatiously where you’re in that condition. Or position. I’m sorry.

I do however, get to see him again in another two weeks. At least I sort of look forward to seeing him. Still, as cute and sweet as he is, this shit’s getting old. Plus, look. I’m one step closer to becoming a complete and utter drunk. Oh shut up.

I’m going to try to look at the bright side of things. I suppose that getting my oral situation in order is a check off the old stagnancy list, eh?

What else can I turn into a good thing?

I have been getting out and about. A bit of socializing never hurt anyone, right? Well, except maybe my dates. Mr. Unmentionable, less than a week after telling me that he didn’t want to hang with me if I wasn’t going to be anything more than a friend, asked me to go to a wedding with him last week! Not sure why I agreed, but I suppose that anything that gets me out of the apartment once in a while is a good thing.

And we did have a great time laughing it up at the newly wedded couple’s expense. Ugh. Those poor souls. I swear, if I ever get married, it will never be a big production. Too much room for embarrassing flub ups and certainly waaaaayyy too much stress.

I did sit next to a professional baseball player. That was kinda fun. And I met some other interesting folk…a fashion designer who’s just starting to sell her stuff to the Hollywood set and her deliciously younger jewelry designer boyfriend…among others.

All in all, it was a fun event. Though I’m now probably completely out of Mr. U’s system on account of being purposely difficult and refusing to oblige when he lunged at me with his lips.

What else…what else? I’m digging really deep now. I did have a girls’ nite last Friday, but I was so exhausted from Thursday night’s work dinner/wine guzzling competition (my old buddies…Tony and the gang). Um. That’s really all I can think of.

So yeah. Work. Travel. Dentist. Some socializing. That’s it. That’s my whole life right now.

I suppose it could be much, much, much worse.

But I want to make it so much more. Better go for now. I need to pack….


Last updated 5 days ago


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