This entry was inspired by [Athena]. A friend of hers is writing a novel about a divorced woman who is venturing back into the dating world after 20 years. She asked for some examples of when you know a date is a bust
and boy, have I got some for her. All of these snippets are from my own personal dating repertoire. Enjoy.
You know its a bust when…
You go to the restroom and he waits for you, and before you come out, you overhear him talking to another girl about the horrible date hes on and how hed rather be on a date with her.
You are at a party together and you are talking to other people, but you see him slip his business card to some girl out of the corner of your eye. That girl turns out to be a co-worker.
Youre at a party at someones house and he goes to the bathroom, and you watch another girl follow him in
and they dont come out for a long while.
He forgets to tell you that he lost his wallet until its too late.
His ex-girlfriend (who doesnt know shes his ex-girlfriend) walks up to your table in a restaurant and breaks into a rant about what a fucking liar he is.
He takes you on a dream getaway to Paris and wines and dines you all over the place, and on the final day there he spends an hour tallying up your portion of the bill.
He picks you up in a truck littered with fast food wrappers, empty beer cans, and a bong.
He has to blow into a breathalyzer machine before he is able to start the car.
He takes you to the Wendys drive-thru for dinner.
He tells you the things he doesnt like about your friends.
He tells you the things he doesnt like about his mother.
He interrupts the date to talk to his mother on his cell phone.
You find out he still lives with his mother
He interrupts the date to take business calls on his cell phone.
He brags about his glamorous job and name-drops several famous people he knows, but when you call his bluff at a business function, he gets mad and immediately wants to take you home.
He tells you that he and his ex-wife are still best friends, meet on a regular basis and talk on the phone daily (they do not have children together).
You meet at the beautiful new wine bar, dressed to the nines and he shows up completely disheveled. You wonder if hes even showered, and he proceeds to get drunk and cry about his ex-wife and what this is doing to the kids.
He curses you out in a foreign language (a la Ricky Ricardo) because you accidentally let a cigarette ash fall on the floor (even though there was no ashtray around for miles).
He tells you right off the bat that hes into threesomes and actually starts pointing out the potentials.
He finally gets you into bed, but before you do anything, he wants to have a long, drawn-out heart-to-heart about his undescended testicle.
He spits when he talks. On you.
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