Top 10 Things to Blame on “The Illness” in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

I got sick Friday afternoon. I could feel it coming on at the office. By the time I left the office, I had chills and a fever and the yuck and muck. “The Illness” is the only excuse I can come up with for my incredibly bizarre behavior over the weekend.

So without further ado (I might as well get it over with right now) are the Top 10 Stupid Things I Did Over the Weekend Due to “The Illness”:

10. Blew off the girls so that I could sleep on Friday night. This was the peak of the death grip that The Illness had on me. I seriously couldn’t even get up to get to my phone or even get a drink of water. I still felt awful for not meeting them out and was bummed that I missed the whole night….and still felt a bit guilty for blowing KA off, too.

9. Actually made it to the 8:30 gym class on Saturday morning. Not that this was a stupid thing, but considering how strong a grip The Illness had on me, it was a pretty amazing feat.

8. Had IM session with KA that ended in making plans to see each other on Sunday. It was as if The Illness was actually typing through my hands!

7. Coughed all over Aaron on Saturday night. He was definitely not impressed with me or The Illness. At. All. Meanwhile, he had more gifts for me. He was sweet and thoughtful as always. And I was a hacking, walking ball of germs. I should have called off the date, but I really wanted to see him. I will be so upset if he gets The Illness. And he will probably never ask me out again.

6. Somehow found myself driving to KA’s to pick him up and take him back to my hood to watch the football game on Sunday. Bad, bad Illness!

5. Took him to the bar where all of my neighbors were hanging out. Can you see where this is going?

4. Started in on the Bloody Marys first thing because they were spicy enough for me to taste (The Illness took away most, if not all, of my senses).

3. Let KA into my space. Illness followed.

2. Let him nurse The Illness.

1. Slept with him. Ugh. I’m truly ill.

What the hell was I doing over the weekend??! I realize I can’t truly blame it on something I’m calling The Illness, but I feel like I need to give myself some kind of explanation/excuse. Oh so, so, so much damage control to do now.