If Not Nightmares, then Insomnia in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

  • Feb. 10, 2004, midnight
  • |
  • Public

Some possible sources of my anxiety:

  • New responsibilities at work have turned into full time job. That means a lot of extra office time (when I’m in town) and a buttload of homework.
  • Though there’s no real down or slow time at work, this is definitely the busiest time of the year.
  • Travel schedule is kicking my arse because of above points.
  • Need to have big presentation under belt before leaving for Miami on Sunday. [Possible ray of sunshine: if I can do that, I can relax for three days (sort of…it’s still work, but it’s South Beach, baybee!)]
  • Will be out of office all day today for “special project” at work. Supposed to be one of those team/creativity building exercises…but a whole day?! Can’t afford that right now!!
  • Counterpart seems to breeze through her days and actually leaves early. How does she do that? I don’t get it…am I doing something wrong?
  • Must find reputable accountant to do taxes. Have a feeling some serious bucks involved this year.
  • Still not losing weight though barely eating [well, confession: I have been blowing it about once a week with food and alcohol binges….hmmmm]. Hovering 129-130 since just after Thanksgiving. Anna (with the luscious ass) gave me a gorgeous bikini and sarong while in L.A. last week. MUST lose at least 2 before Miami!
  • No time to work out. MUST make time.
  • No sign of sexual outlet in sight. Not even phone sex. Self-pleasure is depressing right now.
  • Another V-Day with no V.
  • Apartment is a pit.
  • Hot water is serious issue. Shower vacillates wildly between scalding hot and ice cold every 15-30 seconds. Not even exaggerating at all.
  • Zit on cheek.
  • Wrinkles.
  • Random white hairs.
  • Sense of self-worth wavering. Seem to be spinning wheels while only getting older.


  • Last updated 5 days ago


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