Note. in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

…or don’t note. It’s okay if you want to just read. Or not. This is a strange format anyway, and it’s not like I write for the notes. I write to get this stuff out. I’ve always kept a journal of some sort. All my life. If I don’t get it out here, I’ll get it out somewhere. So please don’t feel obligated…but I would still love to know the name of that special vodka you were talking about! Perhaps this is much better done with e-mail. Fine.

Enough of that.

I overslept this morning. But it was good, and I didn’t feel too rushed because Boss has left for Hong Kong and I only have one meeting today. Maybe I can get my head above water. Probably not.

I was dreaming (of course!) as I turned off my alarm and rolled back over in bed. This time I was at some sort of conference at some university and there were thousands of busses and I wasn’t sure which one to board. I kept missing these busses somehow, but never felt terribly frantic about it. I knew there’d always be another one just a few minutes after. Finally, I hopped one. But I wasn’t sure where it was going. It went through cities and suburbs and neighborhoods and I just kept riding and riding. I talked to a few people. They were faceless (or really, I can’t remember what they looked like), but very friendly.

I got off in a neighborhood with beautiful old houses that had big front porches. I found myself at my grandfather’s place (although it wasn’t really my grandfather…I’d never seen this man before…he was tall with curly white hair). I hung out for a while, until he made a pass at me. Um. More like a grope. Then I realized that he wasn’t really a grandfather after all.

Then I woke up. I was out the door in 15 minutes…a world record for me! And here I am at the office and it’s so beautiful outside. What a crying shame. I think it might be a perfect day for an extra long lunch.

Something strange happened yesterday at the end of my workday. The head of human resources walked into my area and sat down next to me to have a little chat. He told me that Boss had given him the write-up I’d submitted that listed out all of my responsibilities and concerns and how I proposed to work through everything. He told me that he was impressed with it and wanted to read it again…so he could read a bit more between the lines. I was glad he acknowledged these things. He told me that Boss thinks very, very highly of me and has a lot of respect for me, and that he doesn’t use those terms lightly. He also told me that things would be getting better.

Hmmm.

I wonder if our little chat has anything to do with the fact that I’ve taped a headhunter’s name, phone number, and company information on my computer? I know…that kind of stuff can get me into deep doodoo, but I’m kind of desperate. And the job that the recruiter is trying to fill is unbelievably amazing. I mean, the company is based in the hills in So. Cal, the position is brand new (created position), ultra hip, I would get to hire a staff of five, etc. etc….I mean, EXACTLY up my alley.

But I haven’t updated my resume yet. I intend to do it this weekend. I may have missed my shot here, but at least my company knows I can and will leave if this situation doesn’t get better. I have nothing to lose by leaving. Nothing. In fact, what’s my problem?! I should have sent in my resume last weekend when I was out doling out my phone number and letting strange men grope me.

Dammit! That does it. I’m going to lunch now and when I get back I’m going to finish up a couple of things and then try to find my resume so I can update it! Time’s a wastin!!