Please bear with me while I work through this one more time. I feel guilty about all the crap Ive been writing about Q in the last couple of entries. He doesnt necessarily deserve the name-calling and the other choice words Ive used to describe him.
In his defense (and please understand, Im NOT making excuses for him), he was very upfront about himself from the start. He told me he didnt want a girlfriend. He told me he was unavailable. He told me that he kept odd hours and that he really liked to be alone. Remember when he told me that he suspected everyone of being a time thief? I havent forgotten that either. He even warned me not to fall for him because he certainly didnt want to fall for anyone.
I suppose I saw all of that as a challenge. I mean, come on. Who wouldnt fall for me, right? Right. I guess Im mad because I cant get what I want. And when I set my sights on something, I always get what I want! Ugh its all so embarrassing.
Bottom line: its just not going to happen. Not now. More than likely not later. Probably never. Get over it, Red. Hes still a fascinating creature. Hes still unique and brilliant. I can still admire him. I just cant have him. He just wont be had.
There. Much better. I guess. Im over it for now. I just hope he leaves me alone long enough for me to stay over it and move on.
Please just leave me alone, Q.

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