Decisions? in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

  • Nov. 2, 2004, midnight
  • |
  • Public

I cast my vote this morning. I can’t say that I’m 100% sure about it, but I would have to say that I think we need a change…I hope this all works out okay. I’m nervous and have been having nightmares about the state of our country and the world. I hope the US makes the right decision. That’s about all I can do at this point. Hope.

Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes. That was nice. I know I’m not really middle-aged. I certainly don’t feel like it anyway. But I’m still very unhappy with certain things in my life and getting another year older is not helping the situation.

I feel weird. It’s like a strange combination of anxiousness, unsettledness and loneliness. I’m borderline bitter. Yet so amazingly hopeful. It’s confusing and probably foolish, but I can’t help feeling a million things at a time. And yet nothing?

I’ve been having a hard time writing because I feel like I’m not making any progress lately. It’s all the same shit. Weeks go by. I travel. Guys float in and out of my life. I work late to get ready for presentations. I sometimes spend my free evenings drinking or eating or smoking my sorrows away. Then I try to make up for it by working out extra hard.

I am getting nowhere. I guess it’s frustration.

Perhaps it’s inventory time again? Perhaps.


Last updated February 15, 2026


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