Surreal Life (Episode 3: Sundancing) in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

Main Street, Park City

Aah, the Sundance Film Festival. I had no idea what to expect. And I also realize that not being the movie buff that I probably should have been to be hanging out and about, I was not worthy. In the least. Must change that if I ever want to go back!

But again, finding myself in amazing situations is what the last few months has been all about. And it was unbelievably amazing. And I doubt I’ll ever get this opportunity again, so I have to savor…even though I’m now sick as a dog.

So. Back to Friday, early morning. After a blissful nap, I meet marketing director (MD from here on out) in the lobby of the hotel at 8:30am. I tell her my story, and she’s just shaking her head, and gives me a choice: we are set up to work in two different locations, the Village at the Lift (very crowded, full of cameras, security, and frenzy), or a house at a resort that’s kind of out of the way. It should be less crazed, more relaxed, and fairly easy.

Surprise, surprise. I pick the house that day.

But first, we have to go to the Village at the Lift to set up that area. It’s pretty quiet, but it’s also 9 in the morning. Apparently, celebs don’t get up that early. Even still, there are photographers and reporters lulling about. I obviously have no clue.

Let me first back up and tell you exactly why I went to Sundance in the first place. The MD from my company asked if I would come out to Sundance to help with the “gifting” part of the whole ordeal. See, there are a few sponsors of this thing and then dozens and dozens of other brands that set up shop in lodges and makeshift boutiques. It’s all kind of weird, but it helps get publicity going not only for the products that are represented, but also for the casts and crews of the movies that are showcased. So really, as weird and commercial as it seems, it’s a win-win for everyone involved. The celebs get free stuff and publicity, and the brands get exposure from the celebs. I know the movie industry kind of looks down their noses at this practice, but really, I talked to a lot of actors and PR people who have come to expect this out of Sundance.

Anyway, we set up at the Village at the Lift, and the doors opened at 10, and I’m outta there. I go up to the house/lodge to set up there. Meet a few of the players: people like me representing other brands, the marketing group representing us (really cute girls and a couple of cool dudes), the photographers. And then, the crowd rolls in. Group by group, casts and crews of movies: Happy Endings, Pretty Persuasion, Hustle & Flow, The Jacket, The Chumscrubber, Dear Wendy, Dirty Love, Hard Candy, Loverboy, The Matador, Nine Lives, On a Clear Day, The Upside of Anger, What is It? (Crispin Hellion Glover, himself!), etc. etc…the list goes on…it was mindboggling!! Add to that, several editors from magazines like Spin, Glamour, In-Style, Fashion Weekly, etc.

I can’t even describe it. My mind is mush by the end of the first day. So much so, that even though I was invited to a party hosted by Spin, I just couldn’t do it. I go back to the hotel and crash.

Next day, we get up and do it all over again. This time, I stay at the Village at the Lift, and MD goes to the lodge. After another surreal day dealing with actors and agents and PR people, I go up to the lodge to pick up MD and say hello to everyone. This time, one of the photographers asks if I want to go with him to the Hustle & Flow premiere after party. I’d had a few good hours of quality sleep, so I tell him that I’d love to.

It’s late when he picks me up at the hotel. I’m exhausted, but I’m sucking it up. And I’m so glad I do! Mr. Photographer knows everyone!! We roll right up to the velvet rope, he says hello, and we get right IN! He’s busy taking pix while I just stand there trying to keep my mouth from gaping open. It’s absolutely insane.

After a couple hours of watching him do his thing, Mr. P gets a phone call from someone telling him to get his ass up to the Motorola lodge where the hottest party of Sundance was about to take place. We race to the car and drive halfway up the hill to the most beautiful lodge on the mountain. It’s about 1am by that point, and the party is just getting going. Problem is, there are hundreds and hundreds of people trying to get in, and we are not on the guest list. We snake through the line while Mr. P makes phone calls the whole time. Still can’t get in, so we have to snake our way back out of line! How humiliating.

But by the time we get back to the car, defeated, Mr. P gets yet another phone call, and we run back to the lodge. These security guards give us all kinds of shit and tell us to go, when some guy strolls up and tells security that we’re with him. The security guard is all apologetic and tells us to go right in.

DAMN!!

Once inside, I don’t even know what to do with myself. There are A-list celebs everywhere. Among many, many others, Paris Hilton is running back and forth, talking on her phone the whole time, and cameras are constantly flashing. Mr. P starts dancing with me, and I’m in this swirl of lights and music and glitter.

People dancing at the Motorola Lodge on Saturday night

But as soon as I get comfortable and snuggled in with Mr. P, some jackass pulls the fire alarm!! The music stops and someone comes across the sound system telling us that everyone has to GO. NOW!!

Mr. P tells me that it’s probably just a prank, but I do see smoke, and it’s just as well that we leave because it’s around 3:30 now, and I have yet another 8:30 meeting in the morning.

As we’re leaving, the firetruck drives up.

Mr. P takes me back to the hotel, but I am so giddy that I don’t really want to say goodbye just yet. So we kiss like highschool in the car until about 4…until I’m bleary-eyed and knock-kneed and simply HAVE to go to sleep.

The next couple of days are more of the same…more of the same….sparkle and glitz amidst a gorgeous snowcapped backdrop. Again, it’s a dream that I can’t quite interpret. I can’t decide if I love it or I hate it, so I just give in to the fact that it’s just plain surreal and go with it.

Jen, Chelle and I get invited to the Snoop Dogg show on Tuesday night (my last night there), and even though we have VIP passes, the crowd is overflowing and suffocating, and we can’t get in. Mr. P calls me asking where I am, andI can see him behind the glass inside Harry O’s, where Snoop is playing. It takes us that long to figure out that it’s not your credentials, it’s who you know. There are too many people crushing against the guard rail for Mr. P to come back out and get me.

I run into some girl I’ve met at some point along the way. I can’t remember where, but the guy’s she’s with is a reporter for Star magazine. She whispers in my ear that if we can get into the club next door, Marquee, that we can sneak through some back way and get into the show.

Chelle has left at that point, so Jen and I make our way to the velvet rope at Marquee. Still can’t fucking get in. Jen sees some people she knows, but they snub us both. Assholes. I’m pissed off at that point. Who the fuck cares about this shit anyway? But then Jen sees someone she’s met at some point during the week.

“Hi Mario,” she says, and this gorgeous guy grabs her hand and slides her past the velvet rope. The bouncer tries to push me back behind the rope, but I yell for Jen and she and Mario turn back around. Mario nods to the bouncer, and I’m in.

Once inside, I ask Jen what just happened. Jen’s all smiles and says, “Very cool that Mario Van Peebles just got us in this club, huh?”

And that’s how it goes at Sundance.

We don’t even care about the Snoop Dogg show at that point. I’m having fun dancing with pretty much everyone. Everywhere I look is someone I’ve seen before….from That 70s Show to The OC (I don’t watch, but have met some of the cast at the lodge). A few minutes later, I get a phone call from one of the contestants on Apprentice 3, whom I’ve just met earlier in the day. He’s at the Premiere Lounge and wants me to come over.

See? Unreal.

Mr. P shows up after the Snoop gig, and soon the club is shutting down and we’re looking for something to eat. But everything is closing, and I guess that means that we have to go.

Wednesday is my last day, and I actually feel melancholy. It’s kind of like going home after a week of summer camp. I’ve met so many people and witnessed so much insanity, and I don’t even know how to process it.

I still don’t.

And that’s my report. No, I didn’t get to see any movies, but what I experienced was worth a hundred screenings. A lot of films were picked up this year. I’m sure there will be time to watch elsewhere.