Bullet-Formation in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

  • Feb. 10, 2005, midnight
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  • Public

Saturday, Febrary 5th :

  • Fly into LAX
  • Call from Movie Director, telling me we’re eating somewhere fancy
  • Frantically shop for something nice to wear for rest of day (I’d only brought very casual clothes)
  • MD picks me up at the hotel, while talking to daughter on phone. Tells me to say hello. She is precious…and also the daughter of a famous actress.
  • Dinner is nice, but I’m doing the nervous ramble because he’s kind of sick with a cold, has a raspy voice, and tells me that I need to do all the talking. I even tell him The Killing of Aaron story. Groan.
  • People recognize him at the bar.
  • We see a friend of his and chat, and I also chat with a guy who’s from [my city], and say hello to his parents because they are sitting at the next table
  • We finish dinner and go to another bar…getting drunk at this point
  • We go to his place and make out a little, and it sucks because I just can’t seem to get it up for him. Nervousness?
  • Somehow, I end up spending the night, which is kind of a bizarre experience for several reasons:

    (a) He is very congested and coughing and sputtering a lot in bed

    (b) I have to wear a pair of his boxers and a tee shirt of his…not a huge deal, until I realize that I’m wearing the boxer shorts and tee of a famous director!

    (c) His bedroom is like a movie screening room…bookshelves with thousands of flicks–and awards–everywhere! I see no less than four Emmys scattered throughout, plus other awards that I can’t identify—some shaped like film canisters, some that are like those click chart movie thingies (no Oscar, though one of his movies won an Oscar for one of the actors, and he is also a member of the Academy)

    (d) He’s very handsy and I still can’t get it up for him, and I feel like a tease, and I know it’s not right for me to be there…but I want so much to be into him

    (e) He asks if I would feel better if we were actually “dating” each other officially…which would require travel and commitment.

    (f) Even though I say yes, I STILL can’t get myself to come close to having sex with him

    (g) He tosses and turns and finally gets up and goes downstairs

    (h) I finally sleep for a little while…until he comes back and tells me to scoot over

    (i) I can’t wait for morning to come

    (j) Once it finally does, we lay in bed for a while, and he shows me this back-tickle thing that he loves. That part is fine with me. In fact, it’s very nice, and I don’t mind touching him in that way because it’s not as sexual. What is my deal?

    (k) We flip through the channels on TV to see if any of his movies are on! I find this so very funny for some reason.

    (l) I really dig just hanging out with him, and wish that we could be really, really good friends, but know that would never, ever happen

    Sunday, February 6th:

  • We get up out of bed (whew!!) and he goes to another room to get dressed (??) while I’m in the bathroom changing back into my clothes from the night before.
  • He tells me to wait before coming downstairs. He wants to show me something. He has a tape or something in his hand and takes me to another room with a bigger screen TV and tells me that it’s poor quality, but it is the working trailer to his next movie—and he wants my opinion. Holy fucking CRAP!!!
  • It’s very, very cool….but I can’t think of anything intelligent to say because I’m hungover and I’ve just spent the whole night lying in bed with my eyes wide open trying to figure out what the hell I’m doing with this guy.
  • He drives me back to my hotel (quick kiss and very nice hug goodbye), where I shower up and have a very nice breakfast while talking on the phone with Jen—asking for her opinion on the whole ordeal.
  • Jen tells me not to lead him on. But I don’t even know if that’s what I’m doing for sure. I dig him so much. I don’t know what my deal is.
  • I then call my airport buddy (AB for short). He’s the guy I met in the snarl of a security line at LAX before Christmas. We’ve been talking back and forth, and my plans were to hit the Melrose flea market and then the Getty Center. He was so sweet to offer to pick me up at my hotel (even though I was staying in Santa Monica and he lives in Beverly Hills where the flea market is) and hang with me. I was cool with that because it was fun having non-business-related company on my research (yes, this is all part of my work)
  • AB is so cute, and so FUNNY! He makes me laugh all day LONG!!
  • We wander the flea, I find some treasures, and then we get lost trying to figure our way out of the high school yard connected to the flea
  • We make it to the Getty Center with an hour to spare. I try to convince AB that I batted my eyes at the parking guy so we wouldn’t have to pay the $7.00 parking fee
  • Cruise the exhibits as I snap photos the whole time
  • He tells me that if I want some scenery, let’s drive Mulholland back to BH and then get something to eat. We do, and I’m duly impressed. So spectacular!!
  • Dinner at Sushi Roku, where we figure out that we completely missed the Super Bowl. Oh well. We really don’t care because the saki’s good, the company’s good, and the sushi is hitting the spot.
  • Across the street to St. Nick’s pub where AB orders beers, but at this point I’m tooooo tired and have hit the wall.
  • Call from Movie Director (which I don’t answer). He leaves me a message telling me that he slept through the Super Bowl!
  • AB drives me back to Santa Monica where I fall dramatically into bed and sleep like the dead

    Monday the 7th, Tuesday the 8th, Wednesday the 9th

  • The rest of my team comes to town and we proceed to do a bunch of work crap that is too stressful to even write down.
  • We are so stressed (for different reasons…power plays, assignment timing, etc.) during the day that we drink—a LOT—Monday and Tuesday nights
  • I dork out on Tuesday night and call Movie Director—LATE—to see if he’ll meet us out (I was with one of my co-workers when we met, and he told me that he’d love to see her), but he never calls me back
  • Head back to snowy, blustery Great Midwest and snuggle with the cat


  • Last updated 5 days ago


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