Sorry about that last entry title. Karmas probably going to really get me for that one.
The Evening of Lowered Expectations blew. Basically, Jen got really drunk and I got really depressed. The best part of the whole night was the morning after. Jen spent the night as my place because of her drunkenness, and we spent a good portion of Sunday morning at the diner around the corner chugging coffee, eating crap (though I was able to control my grease portions), and laughing about stories in the paper especially the inbreeds in the wedding section (speaking of karma).
So there, see? Even though the night before sucked, there was a little rainbow at the end of the drunkfest in the form of coffee, pancakes and stale cigarette smoke all tied up in a greasy, dive-y bow. Perhaps Im on the right track after all.
To-Do #1: Continue to practice the lowered expectation method to life
The car woes continue, and if I dont get everything together by Friday when I go to court, Im probably going to jail. I finally got a [Midwestern State] drivers license, but the tag thing has not been so easy. I went to get the emissions inspection on Friday so that I could go back to the tag place on Saturday morning, but OF COURSEI didnt pass the inspection! I have a chip out of one of my tail light covers. Just a tiny little chunk, and the guy says, Nope. You fail.
So now, my life is revolving around if and when the guy can get the part from a salvage yard ($165 brand neware you kidding me?). I just called the guy, and hes been sent to a CLASS?! WTF?
Im so down to the wire with this one. What if they throw the book at me and put me in the slammer? Shit.
*UPDATE* Just talked to the car guy who found me a part at the salvage yard for the low, low price of $135!! Does this sound like a rip-off to you? What can I do? I want to stay out of jail. Im bending over
To-Do #2: Take it up the ass in order to become a legal citizen of this muther effn state (even though Ill probably end up moving away in a few months anyway).
Thoughts about moving continue. Headhunters have started calling out of the blue. Its weird, like Ive sent out a signal to the universe and shes answering back. Little by little. Sign by sign.
But its also really interesting that Im getting a lot of attention at work lately (I thrive on attention, remember? Or have I ever told that story? If not, ya think an online diary might be case in point? hmmm). And its all been very positive as of late. Such a drastic contrast to the attention received (a red-faced, veiny-necked, screaming president) just a few short weeks ago.
Our PR firm has turned me into the absolute expert and the focus of our next big press release. Im working on a side project of which my boss has sent incredible encouragement. I participated in a group interview yesterday that will be featured in next weeks newspaper (normally picked up in syndication). And on and on
And yet, its weird. I feel these things are buying me time here and maybe sort of keeping me here when I really should be somewhere else. I know theres a reason for me to be here (this job, this area, this city), but I also know theres a reason to move on. I dont think I have to figure it all out in one fell swoop, but my guts talking here.
To-Do #3: Resume sending and more soul searching
Last nights dream:
Im at a work function that happens to be at a nude resort, and I know that Im going to have to get nekkid in front of all my co-workers and Jeff. Jeff is the guy at my last job that I almost had an affair with (but oh hell no!). Hes also the guy I keep bumping into during certain assignments and business trips at my current job (yes, the belly-button sucker).
Im wearing a robe with nothing underneath and everyone else is in various states of undress, but not fully nude. I see guys in boxer shorts and other people in robes and still other people are fully dressed. And then I see Jeff. Hes motioning for me to come sit next to him on a chaise lounge on the beach. I walk over and sit down with my robe still closed. He tells me that I have to open it up, even though hes wearing swim trunks.
So I stand up and give him a little flash, and he insists that I lie down and open my robe all the way up. With a little more coaxing, I finally do. I think I look okay body-wise (Ive been working out, you know), but theres always something, isnt there? I look down at my crotch and Im horrified by my lack of grooming and the fact that my pubes have grown into a gigantic, fluffy, red bush! It sort of resembles Carrot Tops hair its huge and horrifying and all I can do is just stare at it. I have no idea what Jeffs reaction was because it was so startling that I woke up!
Embarrassingly, the dream is actually not that far off. Oy. I know nobodys going down there in the immediate future, but damn. I should at least have a little self-respect.
To-Do #4: A trim.
Ugh. And with that, I think its enough goal-setting for one day.
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