Of Boxes in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

I am exhausted and there’s still so much packing and tearing things down before the movers get here in the morning. But guess what? I have to sleep and that’s all there is to it. I’m going to bed directly after I write this entry.

New York was yet another whirlwind. In a good way, though. Stephan was very gracious and had set up all of my meetings for me. He didn’t have to do that at all, but I was grateful that he did. I could tell that he was going to want to go out with me on Wednesday night…at least to have cocktails, so I made plans to see Jim (NY Fling) later.

***** We interrupt this entry for an announcement *****

I just heard seven rounds of gunfire. We’ve been having a lot of shootings around here lately, and one of them happened a block away on a Friday night, and now I think I just heard another one. Looks like it’s time to move, eh? Trouble is, I’m moving five blocks away—still within shooting range. Great.

******** Back to the entry *********

So anyway….Jim. I think he was freaked that I’d invited another man to our night on the town. That wasn’t my intention. I really wanted to maybe have dinner with Stephan and Jim and then my plan was to take off with Jim right after dinner. But I think Jim got worried so he invited not one, but three of his buddies to come with him to meet us at the bar before dinner.

It was weird, to say the least. And long story short, Stephan and I both ended up having to expense about a million shots of tequila and other various oddball drinks because we were trying to be polite. I can’t wait to write up that report. I’ve got to pull an excuse for a $350 tab (Stephan has to make something up for $300 MORE!). And all I had for dinner was one bite of chicken satay. Granted, I had about 6 cocktails, but no din-din.

And afterwards was awkward too. I don’t know if I’ll see Jim again. It’s all a little weird for me. I’ve done this before….but it was with someone I wanted to have a real relationship with. With Jim, well, it’s just a goofy, awkward fling and it makes me a little uncomfortable.

Speaking of flings, after I got home from NY and was fast asleep last night, Young One (also from NY) called. Hadn’t heard from him in MONTHS. In fact, I’d written him off long ago. And he was basically telling me that he thought I was cool and that he was glad we met and yada, yada, yada. Not really sure what that was all about, but it sure was weird. Like strange closure or something.

So of course, when I got home tonight and was in the deep depths of packing depression, I text messaged him, telling him that I’d just been in NY and it was good to hear from him. Dumb move. I think he was just trying to say goodbye. Why open that can back up?

Point is, I’m depressed and think I’ll never fall for anyone ever again. It’s been five long fucking years since I’ve had a boyfriend and I’m obviously doing something wrong. Very wrong.

But it was a great day at work…we did our charity thing and my heart was extremely full, if only for a few brief hours.

Now I’m back at my home-no-more, and there’s so much more to be done. I’m exhausted and need sleep immediately. I wanted to write a good, juicy entry but can’t seem to put the words together in complete sentences.

OH. One other thing. Ran into Jackhammer tonight while I was on my way into the building. He called me a while ago and told me that he is finally moving his stuff in. Asked me if I wanted to see his place, and I was so curious that I went over there. Big mistake, because he wanted to know why I didn’t return his calls and to tell me that he was really mad at me. I was very direct and upfront with him—told him that he was waaaaaaay too aggressive and put me into back-off mode. He told me that it was his nature to be pushy because, as a “producer and director”, it is the way he gets things done. Well, not with me, buddy. I told him that he’d called me 14 times, and he was like, yeah…that’s why I’m mad at you…you return my calls. I had to repeat again that it was because I didn’t like aggression that’s so forceful. And then I walked into my place and shut the door.

Ugh. Dying. The sleep has begun, though I’m not in bed yet. More to follow…..