From Car Wash to RAD in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

So Saturday, I’m depressed, right? Just one of those half-sick, headachy, bluesy funks. And I’m thinking to myself…what can I do to get out of this mood? So I decide to go to the car dealership to have my filthy car washed.

When I get there, I hand over my keys to the service guy, and when the dealership owner guy comes over and says hello, I’m the slightest bit snippy with him…but I tell him that I’ll be okay once my attitude is adjusted with a shiny, clean car. He sits down with me to chat, which is really sweet because he remembers a lot about me (from just when I came in and bought my car), tells the car wash guy to take extra-special care of me, and then goes and gets me TWO bottles of wine (does my alcoholism really show that much?)

Then, the dealer who actually sold me the car comes along, and so does another woman who ended up being part of the deal too (long story). They’re always fun to talk to, so we all talk and laugh…and Dealer #1 even asks me what I’d done to my hair. I tell her I cut it. She looks at me sideways and squints. Whatever.

And THEN. In walks a new player. A decent-looking guy…tall, in shape, polite, etc… And Dealer Owner introduces him. Finance Manger, blah, blah, blah. No biggie, right?

And soon, my car’s done.

Well, as I’m about to leave the place with my shiny, clean car (top down, of course), Dealer #1 asks me about AtH (EVERYBODY KNOWS!!), and I tell her that the excitement is over with him, she tells me that she knows someone who’d really like to take me out. And I’m like…who?!

Enter Finance Manager. Again. Numbers exchange, and I walk out the door with a little spring in my step. That’s the way to get out of a funk, right there.

We went out last night.

Name: Let’s call him “Christian”…you’ll see why shortly.

Age: 34

Relationship Status: Divorced, 2 kids (ages 6 and 3)

Occupation: Finance guy at my car dealership

Length of date: 4 ½ hours—luckily we didn’t have to speak to each other for 3 ½ of those hours.

We met: He picked me up at my place because I told him to. There’s a bit of a back story here, so allow me to digress a little. I’d forgotten that I’d planned to see a singer I really like who happened to be on tour and in town last night. So when Christian called Sunday morning (on his way to church, by the way *hint*) to see if I wanted to go out that evening, I agreed, but we didn’t make any definite plans. Later, I went to Matt and Greg’s to have brunch, and met a girl who was also planning on going to the show…so I told her that I thought I had a date, but I was sure he’d want to go and that she should go with us (at least meet us there). She agreed. ANEEYY WAY! When I didn’t hear back from him by 6ish, I called to tell him that I was going to the show regardless, so if he wanted to go, then let me know. If he wanted to take me to dinner beforehand, even better! Heh.

I wore: Grecian-looking pleated, white strapless top, full long-ish super lightweight skirt, Grecian-looking gold strappy sandals.

He wore: Nice dress pants (too fancy-pants for where we were going!), plaid sportshirt, polished loafers.

We did: Dinner on the patio of one of my old favorite haunts…got us sorta lost on the way (it’d been well over four years since I’d been there, and he lives on the opposite side of the tracks and never ventures to my hood—which is another important clue). Then, show. Again, got us sorta turned around. He annoyed me with his weird “patient act”. I could tell, for some reason, that he doesn’t normally have any kind of patience for not knowing exactly where he’s going. He kept telling me, “it’s okay, it’s okay” like, I don’t know…like he wanted to pull out a shotgun and blast my head off, all the while smiling. Really odd vibe, right from the start.

Convo: Super creepy born-again. Saying a quick blessing before eating dinner is one thing, giving a full-blown sermon-length testimonial is another. I seriously thought my food was going to go cold before I could eat. I was so uncomfortable that I couldn’t even listen to what he was saying. Something about giving thanks for making new friends, blah, blah, blah. It went on and on and on. Finally. FINALLY! When the prayer was over, he told me about his amazing relationship with God…that he never knew he could have something so special, and that it was only after his divorce that he’d seen the light. He started to tell me something about how “bad” he was before, but then stopped himself. At that point, I felt like I was watching myself in an after-school special gone very wrong. Or perhaps even the beginning sequence of a 48-hour murder mystery expose. And then (I knew it!) he asked about my church-going habits. But before I could even answer, he said, “I knew you didn’t go to church regularly because you told me you went for a bike ride this morning.” And at that moment, I was done with his fucking ass. I fell mostly silent, answering only when I had to. I wanted to desperately to get out of going to the show with him—especially when MK (from Matt and Greg’s brunch) bagged. But I also wanted to go to the show, so I was torn. Of course, we ended up at the show.

Personality: See above. OH!! Also…I would guess stalker tendencies. Because of a credit card SNAFU, he paid for tix to the show, so I was buying all drinks. I figured out that he didn’t like to go to the bar to order drinks, so every time I went to the bar it was like a little respite from Christianity overload. And every time I went to the bar I flirted with the bartender and pretty much anyone around me to get my mind off of what was happening. But every time I looked over at Christian, he was shooting daggers right into my eyes. He eventually gave me some lame story about a girl he’d recently dated who got mad at him for not watching her at all times. Apparently some random guy made lewd comments to her when Christian’s back was turned for a split second. And that’s why he was watching my every move. Riiiiggght.

Appearance: Does it even matter? Oh, but here’s one other REALLY bizarre thing regarding appearance (mine, anyway): he’d mistaken me for a BLONDE when we met!! That’s right!! When he came to pick me up and was waiting for me outside the building, he looked at me with question in his eye. Finally he told me that he’d remembered me as a blonde the day before! Now, I’ve been mistaken for brunette before because I have auburn hair, and in certain light it looks brown. But never, ever, EVER have I been mistaken for a BLONDE!! This guy MUST be psycho.

Highest Point: Sneaking a tequila shot with some hot guy at the bar while another hot guy blocked Christian’s view!

Lowest Point: Um, can I say the whole evening?

Chances I’ll see him again: That’s the tricky part. How do I get my car serviced without seeing him?