Things are quite amazing with Grrrr Im almost afraid to write that for fear of the jinx. But its so crazy how crazy in love I am. And now I see him looking at me with those eyes again. The honeymoon is NOT over, I tell you! I can tell that we get more and more into each other every day. Were still getting to know each other and finally starting to figure out how the other ticks. Im still cautiously optimistic, but now its more optimism than caution and perhaps he is picking up on those vibes and vice versa.
Last night he showed me photos. They blew me away. In fact, I feel drained just thinking about them. He showed me his past life with his ex and his kids, and while I knew he had a past, it seemed to finally hit home when I saw them with my own eyes.
I saw what seemed to be the ultimate dream of a family the most gorgeous children Ive ever seen, and an amazing mansion of a house nestled in a serene European setting. I saw a man so happy and proud, smiling as he held his precious babies. Ive never, ever seen a more handsome man.
I suppose for my sake he edited a lot of his ex, with her pregnant belly (I snuck peeks where I could) and smiles all around. But there were some that he did show me group shots and parties and Christmas feasts and happy faces.
Tonight I go to my individual therapy session. Grrrr goes to his on Thursday evening. I guess then we regroup next week to have another couples session. Im feeling an imminent breakdown on the couch. A bit of an emotional basketcase, am I. I mean, seeing those photos last night, Grrrs sentimentality (and some things he said as we were walking out the door this morning), and being hit with a powerful case of PMS today seems like a perfect recipe for watery eyes.
Still, Im feeling stronger today about us than I ever have. I know, its only been four months, but its also been eight years since Ive actually had a four month relationship! We are planning things into the future. His kids are coming to visit in March (along with his ex and their new step-papa that will be fodder for many entries to come, Im sure), and of course, we have the cruise to look forward to next month!
I knowa whirlwind. But what a fucking ride!!!
More stuff to follow in a public entry (my laptop is on the fritz, so I havent been writing!).
Loading comments...