Sour and Sweet in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

I’m on the downside of another trying week here at the saltmines. Ugh. I was taken off guard at one of my meetings on Tuesday, put on the spot, and was completely ambushed. Boss was agitated at me at first–really agitated. It was so upsetting that I could feel myself blush. Fuck! I hate exposing myself that way. But at least I didn’t cry. Not even later in the secret bathroom. I simply picked myself up off the floor and quickly got to work to resolve the issue.

The issue that wasn’t even mine. But I couldn’t very well use the excuse that the director who’s responsibility the issue revolved around hasn’t even been in the office for a month because of one family emergency after another. I couldn’t say that because it doesn’t matter. This stuff HAS to get done with or without him or the show doesn’t go on. And I’m basically this guy’s go-to person in this particular area.

So I got to work fixing his problems. Which was fine because I put the project together the way I wanted to put it together in the first place. And now he has no recourse. He has to agree with the direction that I’ve given because we’re simply out of time.

So fffffftttttttt. On everyone.

In the end, Boss was so incredibly pleased. More impressed with me than I’ve ever seen her. And that made me feel good in a way, but pissed off in another. Because that simply means that I showed what a good tail-chaser and mistake-fixer I can be. And I don’t want to be that person. I want to be the idea-creator and mastermind!! [heh]

It’s just…..I can’t seem to win with this right now.

Honestly, I’ve stopped trying to “win” anything for the time being.

Grrrrrr and I both had separate visits to the therapist earlier this week, and now he (therapist) is going on vacation, so we won’t be able to get back together with him for our “threesome” until the week after next or later (I was supposed to confirm something yesterday, but was too busy at work)!

Grrrr and I have been getting along really, really well since our last blowout when he threatened to leave altogether (and at the time I wasn’t about to try and stop him!), but instead took a little time out to go to his brother’s place. And I’m actually glad that he did because his brother was able to talk some sense into him. And I was able to cry over the phone to Best Bud while polishing off a bottle of bubbly.

Grrrrrr came home and I was dead asleep, wiped out from the drama/trauma/bubbly. The next day he got up with me and told me that he was glad he went to his brother and SIL’s place because they really helped shed some light on MY side of the situation that he hadn’t even considered. The light bulb seemed to click when they told him that these kinds of things take time. He can’t expect us all to instantly become one big happy family (after ONE visit!). I get that, and he finally understands. Not that I don’t want to become that happy family, mind you–I DO! It’s just that it’s not going to happen overnight.

And you would not believe how patient he’s become with me—especially after I came home last Friday toting two brand new photo albums, chock full of pictures from the recent visit, personally addressed to each of the kids, filled with sweet little notes, and signed from [the cute name they call me].

He was so touched. And I was proud. And he said that the kids are gonna absolutely LOVE those albums. I can’t wait to hear about their reaction!!! Especially since I hear that the kids haven’t seen the pix that I posted online. I don’t get why their mom won’t let the kids see them, but no matter now. They BETTER get those albums! That’s all I have to say about that.

So. Spring has finally sprung at Chez Ginger Snap. And I’m certainly NOT complaining!! The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, Grrrr and I are able to grill salmon and other yummy stuff on the roof of the building. OHHHHH, and not to mention that the you-know-what has warmed up considerably!! Yowza! What’s up with the hormone levels during the springtime? And why can’t they bottle this stuff?

Grrrrr was walking me to my car before work this morning and looked at me in that way and said, “I feel like I’m falling in love with you all over again…that tingly feeling is washing over me.”

I’ll take that!! Yes I will!