Engaging in Open Diary 2001-2018 (Pre-Prosebox)

I had to look back through my entries to see if I wrote about this…and I haven’t yet!! So let’s back up to Valentine’s Day, shall we? Grrrr and I had been dating about 7 months around this time…already very close because we’d been officially living together for a couple months already (and unofficially for 5 months!!). So on Valentine’s Day, when I got home from work, he asked me to close my eyes and hold out my hands, and when I did he placed a little box in my palms…and then immediately screamed,

“IT’S NOT AN ENGAGEMENT RING!!!!!”

I guess because he didn’t want me to confuse it for one—it was a “friendship” ring…although what it REALLY looked like was a wedding band. It was actually quite simple and beautiful…a clean band made of white gold that he placed on the ring finger of my left hand.

Oh boy.

I told him it was beautiful and that I loved it (because I did!!). But it confused me. Again, it looked JUST like a wedding band!! And I honestly didn’t feel comfortable wearing something that looked like a wedding band when I wasn’t even engaged.

So I did what’s becoming my modus operandi—I slept on it. Or rather, I went to sleep that night and woke in the middle of the night with the nagging uneasiness and I knew I needed to talk to Grrrrr about it in the morning.

When we had a chance to talk, I didn’t beat around the bush (like I probably would have done in relationships past) and told him my feelings straight out. And he told me he had no problems with my concerns—that we could simply change the ring a bit…add a colored gemstone, an engraving, or something of that nature. And that I could and should wear it on any finger that I like.

But then he continued on with the question, “welllll, if it really had been an engagement ring…how would you have reacted?”

I countered with, “What are you asking me? Are you asking if I want to get engaged?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

We went back and forth for a while and finally concluded that we would both like to be married—Grrrr explained again how comfortable he is being settled in a relationship, and I confessed that I am finally ready to settle down and actually do the marriage thing…eventually (okay, pretty soon).

And that was the end of that conversation. For the time being.

The following week I left on my around-the-world excursion, leaving the friendship ring behind so that he could do something “creative” with it. And instead of him giving me the ring back when I returned, we went engagement ring shopping the day after I got back from my trip!

I tell you, when Grrrrrr puts his mind to something…

We spent the whole day hopping from jeweler to jeweler, trying on rings and making googly eyes at each other. C’mon. I’ve never done this before—even at almost 40, I have that first-time blush. Blush, blush, blush!!!

After that day, I tried to put engagement thoughts behind me for a while. I knew Grrrrr didn’t really want to be engaged until after we’d known each other for at least a year, and that he’d need time to figure stuff out. Me too for that matter.

But HE was the one who kept bringing it up!! Every few days he’d turn to me and give me a little squeeze and ask, “are you gonna maaaarrrrryyy me?!”

Eeeeeee! The squishiness of it all!!! The scariness of it all!!

And then his kids came to visit, along with the ex-wife and her new husband. I got to spend a few days off from work with them, but then it was back to the grind for me for the rest of the two weeks that they were here. So as Grrrrr got to spend time with his family and catch up with everyone, I guess he felt comfortable enough to drop hints to his ex and her husband because we would need to plan for the kids to come out during one of their vacations so they could be a part of the ceremony. Ex and her Hub quickly figured it out.

Can I tell you how weird it is discussing thoughts about rings, wedding dresses and ceremonies with your boyfriend’s ex-wife?! Yes. It’s strange. But pretty cool that she was actually genuinely interested and was very open about sharing details of her own recent wedding with me. And I have to be honest and say that she was sensitive enough not to compare this wedding with the wedding that she had with Grrrrrrr (though I have been asking Grrrrr a lot of these questions lately…not really wanting to compare, but really, really [almost morbidly] curious about his “first” wedding…you know, it was European and different and all).

And THEN…I guess since the ex and her hubby knew, it was only fitting that Grrrrrr talk to his kids face-to-face to get a read on how they might feel about the whole ordeal. So during the visit there was a time when the kids were in Grrrr’s car while I followed in my car with Ex and New Hub on the way to do some shopping. I was just driving along, when Grrrrrr’s little girl (who was in the back seat) turned around and made a linking ring symbol with her fingers!! And Grrrr’s Ex turned to me and asked if we’d talked to the kids about getting married. And I was all…..ummmmmm…nooooooo…I guess Grrrrr is doing that right now!!

SO! Right then and there it looked like the kids were thrilled! It made my heart melt to see that they were so into it. And when we got out of the car they both ran up to me and hugged me and that was that!

After Grrrrr’s kids left, I put the engagement thoughts on the back burner once more because again, we had a few months before our one-year mark. But every so often, Grrrrr would kiss me and ask me if I still wanted to get married and remind me that there was a ring in the works!

And through all this, we were going through our ups and our downs and just figuring each other out. Or trying to. And working through our stuff and having things to look forward to and having each other to lean on when we’re feeling blue or he’s missing the kids or…anything. Well, it’s just been such an amazing experience. Scary, yes. A little traumatic, sure. But that’s what’s keeping the both of us on our toes.

So let’s get to the real meat of this entry.

The date was May 1st, 2007. I had written that purposely vague hypothetical entry and sort of wandered through my day in a cloud of confusion—not happy, but not horribly sad either—just feeling the weight of a lot of questions.

I had errands to run after work. Got a mani/pedi and was at Target picking up kitty litter, cleaning stuff, birth control, and mac and cheese when Grrrrrr called to tell me that he was almost home from his business trip and asked if I wanted to meet at [restaurant where we first met] at around 7:30.

Absolutely! His request was like music to my ears. I mean, El Salvadorian food beats macaroni and cheese, well, most of the time anyway!

He was the tiniest bit late (just like he was on our first date). And even though we’d eaten at that restaurant several times since we’d met, that night we were so much more nostalgic. We both ordered beers at the bar and waited for our outside table. Once it was ready, we sat very close to the table where we’d sat that fateful night and just smiled.

Just then, I happened to notice my friend Bob and hispartner Max walk into the courtyard, so I got up to say hello to them and brought them back over to our table to introduce them to Grrrrr. I almost asked them to join us for dinner, but something inside told me not to because I felt like Grrrrr and I had some things to talk about.

And I was right! As soon as Bob and Max left to get a table inside, a waiter came out with two glasses of champagne. I looked at Grrrrrr and said, “OH! What’s the occasion?!”

And he replied with, “We’re celebrating our TEN MONTH anniversary!!!”

*blink*

And I looked back at him and said, “But we have a few days to go until ten months.”

Grrrrr: “I know, but I just couldn’t wait to celebrate………

[long pause]

………..and I also couldn’t wait to talk to you about something else…………….”

[pause, and then some shifting and reaching into his back pocket to pull out the ring box]

Ginger: “Oh my gosh…..oh my gosh….oh my gosh….oh my gosh….oh my gosh…..oh my gosh…..oh my gosh…..oh my gosh…. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

[hands cover mouth as Grrrrrrrr opens box]

[more oh my goshes]

[Grrrrrr’s proposal speech, which was really endearing and loving and beautiful, but I couldn’t quote it verbatim if my life depended on it because I was sooooo excited!]

At that point I asked if I could try on the ring, and he was all, “ummm…but you haven’t even said YES yet!”

“Oh yeah! Of course, of course, of course…YES!!!”

[kisses and the ring and oooohing and aaaaahing and kisses and hugs]

And then there were a few phone calls and a few more kisses, and all of a sudden, another waiter came out with MORE champagne, and we were both confused until the waiter told us that someone inside the restaurant wanted to wish us congratulations.

And I looked around and looked in the window, and there sat Bob and Max, waving and smiling!! I had to run inside where they stood up to hug me and they said that they’d witnessed the whole thing and we all came out to give Grrrrr a hug and toast the engagement!

Oh, it was so very cool.

At the end of our evening, we had to drive home separately because we’d met at the restaurant. While we were waiting for the valet to get our cars, he hugged me tightly and asked how I was feeling.

“Wonderful,” I answered, “but scared.”

He said, “Me too…I know we have things to work out…but I know I want to do this, and I know that you’re the one I want to do it with.”

And as simple as the night had been (no wacky dramatics, no fireworks, no balloons, just a beautiful evening), it was simply perfect.