I knew I would regret that last entry when I started writing it. But it was what I was feeling at the time. And it was real. But it was much more out of fear of having to go than actually walking. I didn’t have time to come back and write because I was so busy working on stuff with Grrrr and actually having a really amazing day.
I got some unbelievable notes. Some people leave the BEST private notes in the world. I almost wish they would go public because the advice is so…perfect. Thank you, again and again and again.
Here’s the thing, and you’re RIGHT, we both have issues. Major issues. Things that push each other’s buttons. Not just the little superficial buttons, those irritants, but the buttons that are at each other’s very core. And neither of us really wants to do that to each other because we know (for a FACT) that we love each other so very, very much.
I guess it’s just that there are sooooooo many things that we are still figuring out about each other. Yes, we’ve now known each other almost a year and 1/2, but we have so much collective baggage that it feels like we open a new bag every week! These are not altercations that happen over and over and over. These are things that we are still discovering about each other. It’s almost like we are experimenting with each other on an extremely emotional level.
And I will be brutally open here and tell you that for as many things he does that rock me to my core in a severely emotional way, I do the same with him. I can be just as harsh and hardcore as he can. And I AM!! I know I am. We both know that we’ve created something with an equal balance. If we could just harness that harshness/rawness I know we could be successful. With a lot fewer tears and headache.
Okay. That’s out of my brain. I need to cut out quickly, but I will be back tonight because I am excited about writing again!
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